Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him or act bitchy about anything not his fault, he has a wank and goes to sleep rather than bother asking me for sex. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
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Top comments
Bolter197 0
Don't date douchebags.
yankfan89 27
Don't sleep with him for a month for being a whiny bitch.
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Comments (183)
Bolter197 0
Don't date douchebags.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Look at OP's name. I think that might be the reason why she doesn't sex, not because he's a douchebag. If anything, he more of an immature child than a douchebag.
Pentium_4 27
yeah, girls want you to work for it. nothing turns them off more than "want to have sex?"
soccerguy2 11
14- how is she making him work for it? I don't know about you, but sex in front of my parents would also turn me off.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I don't think you interpreted what he said correctly, 36. You basically said the same thing. I think he meant that asking for sex straight up is a turn off for most women, and that they like it when you put a little more effort into getting them in the mood. Let me know if I'm wrong, Pentium, but that's how I understood your comment.
RaggleFrock 13
Wow if my husband had ever done that in front of my parents my dad would have hung him. How awkward and inappropriate fyl
Damn_Hippster 11
OP I still see no reason to not have sex with him.
CaptainPickles72 18
#43- Fail at sarcasm. This is to #43 and OP's boyfriend... better luck next time, buddy!
Pentium_4 27
i'm just saying girls prefer you to work for it, instead of begging with the parents in the room lol
Pentium_4 27
sorry i just read your comment 39. that's exactly what i meant. thank you! i didn't put enough details in my original comment
Andrewgfffff 0
Sorry for hijacking this thread, but ACTA (worse than SOPA-not confined to the internet) is about to be passed and ratified. I'm expecting this comment to be taken down, but if you see this, look ACTA up on youtube, google, and sign any anti-ACTA petitions you can find. Mods, I know it's not likely, but please leave this up, I'm trying to help YOUR website. Thanks
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I think you also didn't get it, 86.
ChrisTheCalm 9
^ You're awesome. 'nuff said.
Pentium_4 27
ShroomsOnAcid is always awesome...
The_Weirdo 10
I swear I saw a similar porno recently, only the girl was sent to her room and the Mom decided to take the boyfriend up on the offer.
awagh666 14
Yayyy I love these porno storylines. They're so true to life...
coolguy345 0
U Want to have babies in the middle of the room with parents around
yankfan89 27
Don't sleep with him for a month for being a whiny bitch.
DrMime 10
Good for you OP, you definitely know now NOT to sleep with such an idiot. How do you know he won't "forget" to pull out, or wear a condom?
AddeU 0
..please
Furrywhiplash 14
Judging by her screen-name, she won't be with him for another month.
murdersquirrel 15
25 - What, and risk becoming a daddy? Something tells me that's a situation OP's boyfriend would avoid...
Iknoweverything 29
HA! When I read both 25 and 75's comments, I thought "if she got pregnant, she'd have TWO babies!"
RedPillSucks 33
@75. Unfortunately, guys like that don't think that far in advance or care to deal with the responsibilities of being a father. OP would be raising the child herself.
audiophileMom 11
Brave... Incredibly stupid but brave...
Roevera 14
That or he doesn't want to be in the relationship either.. Maybe he wants the parents to step and say, "you cannot date my daughter!" or maybe he just has an exhibitionism fetish..
Michael_92 20
If neither want to be in the relationship then why be in it? Specially her name...
Roevera 14
Cause neither want to be the one to break it up first! So they just do stupid shit till one of them has had enough!
RedPillSucks 33
Some people will stay in a bad relationship rather than be in no relationship at all. SMH.
FaustXIII 0
YDI for not putting out. Maybe he'd be turned on by having your parents watch! ;-)
MisterMan795 4
Maybe he wants an audience?
Pr0metheus 7
An audience? Do you think OP's parents would sit there and applaud as he nails their daughter?
KeyboardWarrior 10
76 I think your joke/sarcasm detector is broken. Should get that fixed.
Roevera 14
RAM the daughter, DODGE the father.. for all those who don't get it, think vehicles.
FmaFangirl 9
Awkward?
olpally 33
Extremely.. I wonder if op's parents kicked him out after that.. I would hope they did or op for that matter..
angrymexican 8
Here come the "foursome" comments
MikeDa1Da 14
No, it's only you with your mind that deep in the gutter.
leogirl95 12
6- You have a sick mind
Devin91 20
I highly doubt anybody was thinking that.
KingOfAmazing 9
I wouldn't be so drastic to say it's "sick." Maybe interesting though...
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Now that's just gross.
Lexiloulynn 2
It looks like #35's head goes to #56's body:)
fiblydinkerton 0
I think I'm the only one who thumbed up.
Sl1mShad3y 10
I have an extremely dirty mind and even I didnt think of that.. Which just means your one sick bastard lol
me_gusta_eso 1
It's sad to know that people would even comment about a foursome with your boyfriend and your parents.
The_Weirdo 10
Uggghh, not only would it be a foursome, but an incest foursome.
banana_buddy 6
No #6 it wouldn't be a foursome, just a plain old threesome while the dad broadcasts it live on the internet. Dawm I just jizzed my pants.
Johnny6speed 0
117, u mean a wincest foursome right?
CRC_101 31
I know, I'm with Sl1mSha3y on having a superbly dirty mind and STILL not thinking of that xD Props to you, but of course, most of FML humanity will be looking at you in a disturbed fashion for a bit. Comes with the thought!
tayza249 20
You're dating a man-child
renesmeebb 0
Wow.... He must of been reeaallllyy horny to not care if your parents were there!! x)
Rddvl 11
No shit sherlock.
xShannonxSammyx 7
Or just really stupid.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
49 took the words right out of my mouth
armywife0609 4
Sounds like a great guy and very respectful
mutinykitty 18
Tell him your warts are flaring up.
Rddvl 11
Who would tell anyone that? Especially in front of parents??
Pr0metheus 7
Well let's see1) people with genital warts which just so happen to be flaring up2) mutiny kitty3) someone with a fairly creepy sense of humor.see there is three right there.
Quidikic 9
I swear that was the funniest comment I have read ever. I am writing this to let that guy know he's hilarious.