Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
lefty619 6
Common sense
jorrrk 0
Or have a weapon to defend yourself
cheriloowho 0
The 80's called. They want their movie plot back.
ih82bl8 2
Aaaw, I wuda beat him up for you!! Poor guy :(
chubby_choco 17
>_> Way to enforce a bullshit stereotype, Jock. OP, at least you're smarter than that muscle-headed dumbfuck will ever be,
captainburke 5
**** him he's a bully. And sometimes running is the best option :)
klx125cross 9
Why? Just why? OP
PsychoKittie 7
U: well ill be working as a scientist being paid 1,000 dollars a week and ull just work at mcdonalds being paid a dollar a day :3 ** later running down the street** UR JUST MAD CAUSE ITS TRUE!!!
worldclassrager 41
Did you get away alright? If not get well soon...it's safe to say you learned a lesson...
deemarie13 14
Have you learned nothing from 90's movies???