Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
AcidLacedBong 5
Only bitches run... Take it like a man!
lolyeahthatsme 11
Really? You would rather get your ass kicked than run?
jaredjudd21 2
He's gonna end up being your bitch in the future, brains always outwit brawns.
chenry1 4
Unless he makes to the pros then he'll probably be the jocks towel or water bitch
bro1oke 0
Sounds like my day everyday! Provoking = fun
sprinklez0601 8
same
krad204 21
Lols
chels1994 11
Reminds me of something off of tv
failOmeter 0
Yo hit me up on xbox live id love to school u UnWantedLead If u do add me send me a message FML
Eddie465 0
You made new friends.
teyyoshi 19
a comeback is a erect finger??? i guess...
lisey517 2
these stereotypes still exist? jeez it isn't 1985 anymore.
juturnaamo 29
I was thinking that too. Maybe by 'nerd' he means 'weird, possibly autistic' kid and by jock he means 'jack ass bully that somehow got on a sports team.'
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Weird cause we don't use "jock" in Australia. At least I thought we didn't.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Nerd still means a smart person, but in a more insulting way. People don't really say jock but it got the point across.
TheNewGuy03 29
I guess it's why shows like Bully Beatdown still exist. |the kid|
Pentium_4 27
that's a compliment. being a nerd is awesome!
kreepers 6
Well it appears you have what the jock doesn't- wit! Embrace it and tell him to stop parading as a bimbo!!!