Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my kids that global warming was a myth. He responded with, "Whine all you want, but the swamp is draining and your bullshit liberal narrative is finally going down." He then dumped his trash on my lawn and retreated to his house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML
Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
I believe that could count as vandalism. Look into laws in your state and find out. Also, tell him to stay away from your kids, and see if there's anyway you can get legal backing behind it. The fact he's apparently targeting your children to try to brainwash them is very disturbing.
catkat1988 17
Get your revenge - tell his kids ALL about evolution! Or even better - let them know that the Earth is actually round!
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Comments (21)
GhostFox 34
I believe that could count as vandalism. Look into laws in your state and find out. Also, tell him to stay away from your kids, and see if there's anyway you can get legal backing behind it. The fact he's apparently targeting your children to try to brainwash them is very disturbing.
catkat1988 17
Get your revenge - tell his kids ALL about evolution! Or even better - let them know that the Earth is actually round!
RememberSchlitz 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Funny that "everybody knows" Global Warming is caused by human activity just like "everybody knew" the Earth was flat. Turns out that what "everybody knows" isn't always right, and at this point the Global Warming alarmists are the ones acting like Flat Earthers did before science was applied and the truth was demonstrated.
Glowworm56 27
Tell your kids that that nasty neighbor is a mythological creature and that everything he says should be ignored because he doesn't really exist.
knucklehead2112 3
Why bother?
RichardPencil 32
You should teach your kids that if that neighbor talks to them, the need to yell, “Stranger Covfefe!” Or burn down his house and Make the Neighborhood Great Again. #MNGA
RudyH621 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
As a Liberal you deserve it.
maikeru1979 23
and you as the donkey that you are deserves a beat down. you are young and dumb. don't worry I was the same way when i was 21. but then I woke up to the real world. Hope that you can find your way out of your bigoted hole
Sean Gordon 10
Of course a liberal would say that
species4872 20
My, he hit a nerve.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
I don't seem to recall anywhere in the FML saying they were liberal. I must have missed that part.
species4872 20
His neighbour is likley not wrong, from http://www.climatedepot.com, July 5, 2017. The defamation lawsuit brought by climatologist Dr. Michael E. Mann—one of the creators of the famed “hockey-stick graph” that shows a recent spike in world temperatures Fatal Courtroom Act Ruins Michael ‘Hockey Stick’ Mann – ‘Commits contempt of court’ Prominent alarmist shockingly defies judge and refuses to surrender data for open court examination. Only possible outcome: Mann’s humiliation, defeat and likely criminal investigation in the U.S. The defendant in the libel trial, the 79-year-old Canadian climatologist, Dr Tim Ball is expected to instruct his British Columbia attorneys to trigger mandatory punitive court sanctions, including a ruling that Mann did act with criminal intent when using public funds to commit climate data fraud.
alordslums 2
there are two courses of action, regardless of whoever is right. one - is switch to cleaner energy, act consciously, recycle, etc. two - keep doing as we are now, burning fossil fuel, creating waste, polluting. i have a feeling that in 50 years or so we'll see which side was right. so let's say we chose option two, but then find out man-made global warming was all a scam - what do we lose? some jobs in non-renewable energy.... (but gained in renewable sector)... apart from that? a few fatcats less rich? everywhere is still cleaner and better. and if we find out it was all true, and we chose option one? then mankind will have made the worst mistake of eternity, and there'll be no going back.
maroongrad 13
ONLY in the US, and ONLY after something like $30 million spent since 1970 claiming this, is climate change/global warming even up for debate. Literally, and I mean this very literally, LITERALLY every other country in the world, no exceptions, understands it is happening and the science behind it. Too many Americans are absolute suckers for propaganda and have no concept of how science works.
NuttyProfessor 7
Meanwhile, Louisiana is loosing about a football field-sized area of land mass a day to coastal erosion, and Mangroves are replacing the native grasslands.
species4872 20
Mangroves, wonderful places. Natures biological cleaners and nurseries for fish fry. As far as your erosion check Wiki, viz...The process of coastal erosion is the result of various factors, particularly the blockage of traditionally occurring deposits of fresh water and silt from the river caused by man-made levees which have been built up and down most of the river over the last century, which now impede the river's ability to replenish its southernmost alluvial plains which are constantly dependent on the infusion of the river's once plentiful deposits which usually occurred during annual high stage floods in the springtime,
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Yes global warming is real Never mind the fact of how a volcano pumps a 100 times the greenhouse gasses as mind kind. It is our less than 1% that's making the planet warm Also disregard the medieval maps showing no ice on Antarctica. They had Aliens with ice penetrating radar to make those. Never mind as the glaciers recede archaeologist are finding Bronze Age mines and medieval ruins. Those were inhabited by ice people, who lived in the ice. And the Romans were stupid and built ports miles from the ocean. It's not due to the fact that the ocean level was higher during the Roman Empire. Forget that England used to be so warm, it was great for vineyards. Forget the scientist of the past that recorded the temperatures as being higher. That Isaac Newton was in idiot. Global warming is not due to the end of mini ice age that struck the planet in the 1700's. It's man made. Don't believe the archaeologist, ancient ruins, maps, or scientific notes. Believe the climatologist who properly adjust the temperature readings higher. To correct their Instruments and prove global warming.
maeh_fml 6
I'm an archaeologist, and you're an idiot. Climate change is real, and it's man made.
RichardPencil 32
You are a filthy liar! When Mt. St. Helen's exploded (the most significant volcanic event in decades), it released about the same amount of CO2 as humans do EVERY, SINGLE DAY. A simple mass balance shows that the human-generated CO2 is about twice as much as the Earth's capacity to maintain a stable level. Climate change is established science, and anyone who denies it is either corrupt or a liar.
Sparx1_1 16
Why do you need to confront anyone over an opinion you disagree with? Considering that the planet has been alternately ice free and covered in glaciers almost to the equator, over the course of billions of years, there is no way that it's only a human activity problem. Climate change - yes. Global warming from human activity - lots of room for error and bad research. It's more likely that the things you believe are wrong, than the things he believes.
DavyJoe 13
He "confronted" him because he is wrong. It's funny that you don't see the hypocrisy in your comment since you confronted him with your opinion and you're defending that guy's neighbor who confronted his kids. Climate change is real so you should stop being a brain dead hypocrite.
DavyJoe 13
He "confronted" him because he is wrong. It's funny that you don't see the hypocrisy in your comment since you confronted him with your opinion and you're defending that guy's neighbor who confronted his kids. Climate change is real so you should stop being a brain dead hypocrite.
Hailstorm92 12
I think it's funny how in 1970 it was being called global cooling lol but everybody got their opinions rather global warming is a big deal or not even if it's not something new to this earth. It's happened before lol.