Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
TKDWill 13
What is this 90's high school? Go beat his ass. Man up
elwood244 3
Or become a male cheerleader like me and grab his girlfriends ass all day
tvibeocho 0
guys not every jock is a jerk dont bag on us just cuz one guy is a jerk
Okayitwasme 0
Run Foorresst! RUN!
Track1991 0
That's when you run to the cops lol.
nerdy96birdy 8
He'll be working for you one day OP :)
puppie406 23
s'okay bro. im a nerd too, happens all the time. just stay in shape, once my bf and i had to run 2 miles because he stupidly threw a rock at some douche....
MsMeiriona 2
Somehow I doubt your "witty comeback" was as witty as you think.
MiddleThumb 0
No, then the jock caught up to him. He got the shit beaten out of him, and the last thing he did before entering a coma in the hospital was write that post. Like a boss.
SpeakOutLoud 1
Why would you retaliate?? NERDS ARE THE FUTURE FTW!!!