Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
TheNewGuy03 29
I'm a jerd. |the kid|
kpopfanatic93 6
What was your witty comeback?
karmicsamadi86 9
Don't worry, when he's pumping your gas in ten years, we'll know who really won in life ;)
Calyx_fml 22
Or kick him in the nuts. HARD.
Rach227 8
I REALLY wanna know what that witty comeback was :)
lolyeahthatsme 11
He was just upset because he didn't get your witty joke.
Dcm210 19
wear steel toe shoes or boots and give him a good kick in the shin.
richboii 0
or just stop being a nerd.
lolyeahthatsme 11
You can't just stop being a nerd. It's like telling a black person not to be black.
erikababyy 0
good for you for standing up for yourself!
KiddNYC1O 22
Should've thrown your glasses at him for a minor inconvenience. (Family Guy-Superman scene reference.)