Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML
Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
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Top comments
Slawter16 24
He's an absolute idiot. Break up with that jerk.
kelseythompson 27
He'll need those brass balls for the kicking you should give him
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Comments (131)
yankeesfancg 13
Well I just learned something new today. Thanks!
kitkat_16_ 7
Omg what an asshole!!
Bevspeaks 11
That is probably the lamest and most half assed excuse for being caught cheating. Did he seriously think you would believe that? Thank goodness you aren't like some people who think it won't happen again and have the common sense to dump his ass. What a total bag of cum covered dinks he is.
skinnybyotch 16
What a douchecanoe glad you broke up with him! I know most likely it hurts now but it'll get better trust me, and you'll find someone who will treat you right and make you forget you were ever with that jerk nozzle
Bevspeaks 11
Props for using douchecanoe
skinnybyotch 16
Thanks :)
JoseIsAdork 31
so sorry to hear it op but I'm glad you at least know he wasn't being faithful even though its an awful way to find out. I would drop him quick and not look back!
dannyboy5 5
I'm really sorry. But your vocabulary is awesome.
dawood_k 27
OP, you know you were completely wrong in this situation and I seriously think that you need to find your boyfriend and go down on your knees and give him a heart-full uppercut in his brass balls that you actually hear that clink or crack...every time his balls jingle after that he will remember you!
dawood_k 27
Once his brass are cracked...or broken than breakup again with him
Accuraxy 10
If he is going to cheat on you he could have at least had a better excuse than THAT. And I laughed at your username, OP.
beautiful_hope 16
Glad you dumped him. Anyone that chose YDI is an asshole. Just sayin. No one deserves to be cheated on... Unfortunately, I have to say, not even a cheater deserves it. It's a very hurtful thing to do & a very low way of saying "you're not good enough to me." Screw him. You're better off!
p00p0nt0ast 10
Actually, anyone who says YDI is a troll
dangousity 21
Your awesome for knowing the end of the relationship :)