Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
At $5 a gallon, that's a huge waste of money! FYL, indeed!
kitten79TX 5
So...you're insane. You just committed a felony. Have fun in prison.
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Comments (14)
dreams2383 20
your lucky he didn't call the police. you can go to jail and get sued. you should have just broke up with him instead
RichardPencil 32
At $5 a gallon, that's a huge waste of money! FYL, indeed!
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
So, you're going to get loads of backlash from this but I'm just here to encourage you to seek out a mental health professional. This event sounds like a symptom of underlying mental health concerns. Should you have the ability to and decide to seek help, this is my advice: When looking for a therapist, do your research just as when looking for a regular doctor. There's different modalities. To name a few that have pretty solid research behind them: -Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) -Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) -Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) -Emotion-Focused Therapy Remember that any therapist you find is working for *you*. You are allowed to ask for their qualifications, certifications, schooling, etc. You are allowed to tell them no. A very important question to ask them is if they *also* see a therapist. Any therapist that tells you they don't need their own therapist probably isn't a very good one.
kitten79TX 5
So...you're insane. You just committed a felony. Have fun in prison.
slkeithh 14
I would have had you arrested so fast. You are absolutely psychotic and I mean that in the most concerned way possible. As another commenter stated, please seek help.
poopface82 25
Cheating or not, that was way out of line. Definitely seek help; you will need it anyway. And I hope there are no children involved in this.
jc1015 25
hope he had you arrested
Crowned Sataness 12
being cheated on sucks but ffs you crazy bitch. no wonder he cheated on you. I hope your crazy ass sits in prison for a bit. being sick of your shit was probably why he cheated in the first place
tc201002 11
Are you sure you weren’t the homewrecker?
Xoduis 6
i hope you spend many years in jail.