Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML
Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
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Top comments
Slawter16 24
He's an absolute idiot. Break up with that jerk.
kelseythompson 27
He'll need those brass balls for the kicking you should give him
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Comments (131)
Laxoxo224 8
Guys bring stupidity to an all new level girl
nnnope 26
...what?
dreaasalazar 5
I'm sorry. He's an Ass
Snowkeys 11
Donkeys are noble animals and do not deserve to be classified with her cocktard bf.
ViviMage 40
You mean ex-boyfriend? They go to your house to make out!? That is inexcusable! (Less you cohab with him)
Zomg_Okay 27
30 - Yes, they do mean ex-boyfriend. That's why OP's name is "why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend"".
ViviMage 40
I'm using an app that doesn't show the entire name!
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Once again.. You can tip your phone to the side so that it shows the full name.
thatgirlincali 13
And this children is why you don't cheat, you will get caught.
wowthatissad 9
There are many other reasons not to cheat
sowrongitsdani 14
I'm so sorry that you found out that way, OP, however I was glad to see your username. Certainly appropriate to say the least.
HeartOfLead 24
Tell him to get a refund, she clearly wasn't a good impersonator.
hello_world456 5
Sorry
MandySkittles 18
Love the username OP, glad you had the strength to kick his cheating, lying butt to the curb.
jdawg35527 8
Haha thought it was you that is a very stupid excuse
phoneYuNOlisten 16
He doesn't deserve a swift kick in the sack, he could turn you in for sexual harrassment