Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML
Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
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Top comments
Slawter16 24
He's an absolute idiot. Break up with that jerk.
kelseythompson 27
He'll need those brass balls for the kicking you should give him
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Comments (131)
MartiOan 8
plus one for creativity minus 9000 for thinking that excuse might actually work
Jtx928 5
3some?
spottyblanket 8
Beat his ass and then break up with him. Btw, to those who posted the threesome comments...you are heartless idiots. :/
DWynter 11
I'm so glad you put the word boyfriend in quotes - I'd hate to think you forgave him.
HAno97 12
Omg what a jerk, break up with him, you could find someone way better!!!
Pussycat86 18
Thank you :D
fantasyworld 39
Glad you dumped him.
elmateo_fml 9
Kick his balls in, we don't need him reproducing
DeadPixel4 29
If they're made of brass they should be able to withstand the blow from the bat.
sammiixoxo 12
Waste no time on jerk like him.