Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
Sick burn
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
What's that smell?
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML
Smoke 'em while you can
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Fire hazard
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Damn, son…
Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Technically…
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Top comments
killak41 9
Those damn couches...always getting in the way of falling candles
Enslaved 38
I'd take a burnt couch over smelling cigarettes in my house any day.
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Comments (112)
LeoIma 0
First hehe
thebadmanpuntedb 7
Karmas a bitch
Keyman1212 14
So is my dog. But she's really nice.
MagicallyFat 12
Haha so much win ^
SCREAM4meeee 0
I bet a lot of hot shit happened on that couch..
Alexisthebestest 16
How is this Karma? She didn't do anything wrong.
Alwayspullout 7
Yea, I think irony is the word you were looking for.
MyEpicDemise 7
It baffles me on how you're able to knock something over while shouting, unless your voice was superhuman-powerful.
MEM0817 18
No one likes a hypocrite...
tylersign 11
I know right!? Why the HELL did OP accidentally do that?/
MagicallyFat 12
Do you understand the definition of a hypocrite? If she yelled at him for smoking then she started smoking that would make her a hypocrite. What she did was a mistake
iliketurdles 7
If anything, it's ironic. Even that's debatable.
MagicallyFat 12
I'm coming of as a real dick. I apologize for doing so. Just trying to explain it.
simplylost643 0
It's hypocritical because her complaint towards him is that he was making the house smell like smoke. By setting the couch on fire, and thereby causing the house to smell like smoke, she was doing exactly what she was yelling at her partner for. Hence she becomes a hypocrite. Logic people, use it.
FaZeClan 3
Blondes.
NoLongerExists 11
Get your definitions straight, #46. Hypocrite: a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. Is she an hypocrite for setting the couch on fire by ACCIDENT? You are making it sound like she did it on purpose, which is not the case.
MagicallyFat 12
Thank you 51
TitaniaSilk 4
Actually, #46, she's a hypocrite for yelling at him for making the house smell like smoke, WHILE SHE HAD A CANDLE LIT.
NoLongerExists 11
Last time I checked candles didn't make the house smell like shit. Cigarettes do.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Uhhh... 53, have you ever lit a candle?
simplylost643 0
51, No sir or mamn I have them quite straight thank you very much. Whether intentional or accidental does not change an outcome. Your own definition proves that. "especially a person whose actions Belie stated beliefs". Nowhere in that definition does it give leeway for your interpretation that because it was an accident she was not responsible. To say that you do not want your house smelling like smoke, then lighting a candle (which produces smoke), then setting the couch on fire (more smoke whether intentional or not) makes her a hypocrite. That is all.
NoLongerExists 11
The word you're looking for is "Irony", #70, look it up. And please, don't try to bend the definition to your favor, the rest of the definition clearly says what I was trying to say (see "PRETEND"). I'll get more definitions of the word for you. Irony: an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. // incongruity between what is expected to be and what actually is, or a situation or result showing such incongruity // a situation is often said to be ironic if the actions taken have an effect exactly opposite from what was intended. Hypocrite is a person who PRETENDS something he/she is not, to put it in a simple, understandable way. The word hypocrisy comes from the Greek and means "Jealous", "play-acting", "acting out", "coward" or "dissembling". Check the internet if you need to. Hypocrisy: a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess. // a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. // the practice of professing standards, beliefs, etc, contrary to one's real character or actual behaviour, esp the pretense of virtue and piety // is the state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, ideals, thoughts, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie. // a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion. // a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. Examples: Isn't a politician hypocritical for talking about human dignity while voting against reasonable social programs? // The parent who has a “do what I say and not what I do” attitude can appear hypocritical to a child. I hope it is clear now. Damn, I just looked in Google for this, you should do that too. >>> TL;DR This situation is ironic, not "hypocritical". Get a dictionary and/or Google and learn to understand definitions.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Goodness #72 must have a lot of free time...
bubble25_fml 5
Dumb blonde is dumb.
touch_the_sky 7
Ummm.. I'm pretty sure this was just a joke. Everyone needs to calm down.
NoLongerExists 11
Not quite, #78... that took me less than 5 minutes to write because most of it are copy+pasted definitions from internet. It's just a lot of text... and it's a fact that too much text scares people.
MEM0817 18
I was DEF just kidding.. sarcasm... It's who I am.
TaylorMcGown 2
72, too long, will not read.
TaylorMcGown 2
72, too long, will not read.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Oh 93 ONLY 5 minutes?!
foreverandalways_fml 4
That was the whole point of her joke. This is FML, not a debate team, bud.
KittieTetaz520 15
Apparently so
killak41 9
Those damn couches...always getting in the way of falling candles
silver0jay 11
I wonder if Ops candle was glade... Damn cheap stuff
Enslaved 38
I'd take a burnt couch over smelling cigarettes in my house any day.
TheWindowLicker 13
But the burning couch would add the smell of smoke, which is what the OP didn't want.
jizzwold 21
Well it never said it was cigarettes
Enslaved 38
I don't like the smell of weed smoke in my house either. Put mine in a brownie! Lol
Feklfekl2222 32
Fag smoke and burning smoke smell different anyway, burning smoke is a lot sweeter and doesn't turn the walls yellow
yadisingh 5
Lol, 'fag smoke' In America, 90% of people wouldn't know those are cigarettes in the UK. Still, I thought we were talking about homosexuals on fire for a second. :p
SirSquishyPants 1
I think irony is a good word to use here, then again I don't think often and causes headaches
ThatOneCanadian 0
comedy fail
SirSquishyPants 1
Canadians are so dumb, blondes make jokes about them. Does that work for you?
Torva_fml 16
Well..... I bet you'll never live that down!
aus1095 4
Haha true enough
Fruit_Dealer 9
That's the type of things that I like doing on Saturdays. I mean breaking into people's house, yelling at them for liting candles and then smashing their hazardous fire instrument on the most valuable furniture they possess. Then again, Saturday isn't my faourite day.
BountyBass 13
Derp
instnt1nfction 17
Herp
FYLDeep 26
Yours was accidental. Your boyfriend was going to intentionally make your house smell like shit.