Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
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Top comments
Pinkiss_fml 21
There must be something the management can do. Are there any cameras in the area where you're parked? Did you park in the employee parking area? Have you reported it to the police?
Cagara_fml 10
Report him to management. I am sorry OP some people are just assholes
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Comments (89)
djurmel89 30
I say: RUN! As fast and as far as you can...
Miss_Whipped 43
Well he's going to have to run with slashed tires.
Morning_fml 22
Run? Nah, I'm going to get that ****** to pay for my new tires if that happened to me. Those cost hundreds of dollars to replace.
kakabloom 9
What's wrong with him?! Do you know what you might have done to make him hate you? I hope you have a ride home OP. That sounds like a sucky day. ALSO, report him to your boss or anyone that might get something done about your coworker.
meggieeeee92 27
Yeah he hates the OP because he can't stick his gum to their desk anymore.
TeasinDaNoobs 16
Comment made my day!?
bethrh 49
Slight overreaction.
Smooth_Criminal 24
*Major* overreaction
SubparAtBest 23
is he part of the army now?
thefmlman2011 37
is diet OK?
Naith 14
Well OP since you are stuck there gum up his desk.
BrokenIt 13
Do you comprehend english?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
They comprehend it. Just can't speak it well. Or use punctuation.
thevelociraptor 31
Someone has a quick temper... Too bad you can't prove it OP.
noonenoeone 22
Not a clue why you're a getting thumbed down...most likely OP can't prove it and is SOL. Just be clever with your revenge...
DoomSkuller 28
Unless OP's work place has surveillance cameras
Pinkiss_fml 21
There must be something the management can do. Are there any cameras in the area where you're parked? Did you park in the employee parking area? Have you reported it to the police?
giantsfan2010 23
Agreed, definitely have security look through camera footage If your workplace has cameras and definitely report it to police.
xyris_fml 28
That coworker seems a bit overdramatic and/or childish. Don't sweat it OP. Maybe mention it to your boss. I wouldn't let it slide, but don't let it get to you and ruin your day.
Megatron_Griffin 25
I see by your profile you're only 15..so my guess is you haven't had the joys of figuring out how expensive a car can be. Tires cost a lot of money. So saying "don't let it ruin your day" is kind of impossible. As for you OP, I really hope you have cameras throughout the parking lot. If you can prove it's him there is no doubt he will probably be fired..and hopefully he will be made to pay for damages. He sounds like a manchild who shouldn't be working in the first place
mclovin22897 15
tires do cost a lot of money. 3 Tires for my jeep came out to about 350. No way that can't ruin her day.
xyris_fml 28
I'm young but I'm not stupid. Assuming that 15 year olds don't understand this was entirely unnecessary. I'm aware of the expenses and really didn't think I'd get buried. Wow. I assumed they had security cameras outside of the office. With this I thought OP could use it as evidence to make the coworker cover the cost of the tires. If something like this ruins your day, you need to reestablish your priorities and realize there's probably a solution.
Ajwc95 23
I think you should bring this up with your manager. You may not have proof but still...
mrlawlor7777 26
Where you going? Nowhere. ******* nowhere.
Mcstud1y 30
Sounds like my life
RedBullTags 2
What a prick.