Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML
Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML
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Top comments
shelbystang 2
Maybe you should grow a pair and stand up for yourself!
chazzywazzy654 22
That bitch crazy! Surely stopping at a red light for a few minutes is better than a ticket and a fine? Especially on your daughters wedding of all days..... I wonder about people sometimes
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Comments (71)
notsoanonymous3 20
I'm gonna snicker when she gets in an accident for not stopping at a red light...people these days.
Clawsified 6
You're not whipped, you're simply a lowly Omega male.
honeypot0225 11
Pussy.
messymessiah 11
what are you supposed to do while driving?
GamerPerson 19
Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I don't care, but you should have let her ass get in front and let her see where driving "in a hurry gets you." Then, when she gets into an accident, when she tries to get you to vouch for her, pretend not to know her ass.
Shakazulu1216 13
Ur a little bitch
20minutesto9 23
I don't understand how she's survived this long if she doesn't believe in stopping at red lights.
datmanbody 2
suck it up and be a man pussy
mistress_paz 30
You deserve better than that. Maybe your passengers laughed because they were nervous and uncomfortable too. Get counseling because you can't change other people but you can improve your outlook and your life .
fantasyworld 39
Your relationship sounds emotionally abusive.