Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML
Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML
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Top comments
shelbystang 2
Maybe you should grow a pair and stand up for yourself!
chazzywazzy654 22
That bitch crazy! Surely stopping at a red light for a few minutes is better than a ticket and a fine? Especially on your daughters wedding of all days..... I wonder about people sometimes
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Comments (71)
pratikp03 22
You are....wait for it........whippped
cryssycakesx3 23
he knows...
Tyrez 32
No offense, but YDI for being "whipped." No one should treat you like that and you shouldn't stand by and let them.
brokenjawskhan 21
They might be indulging in bdsm
laden_swallow09 35
If that were the case, 42, this story would be on a **** site, and not FML.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
I think you should stand up for yourself and not take that from her.
devildog562 33
Grow a pair and put the hazards on and stop the wife in the street and kindly ask her to shut the horn off.
Mauskau 36
You say that like the horn has an on switch. It's dangerous to just stop in the middle of the street and get out to talk to the person behind you.
devildog562 33
I guess I'll add (sarcasm) to all parts pertaining to it.... Grow a pair stands. It's sad that anyone should be or feels whipped in a relationship. Oh and the horn literally has a on off switch or button and fuse .... Usually independent .
laden_swallow09 35
You'd have to tear apart the steering wheel to get to the horn's switch. Definitely not safe if you don't know what you're doing, what with the threat of the airbag punching you in the face.
Enslaved 38
Why didn't you just let her pass you?
tazmanmike2013 17
YDI, grow a pair and stand up to her.
rogerover 19
**** her!!
JayVicious 20
he did
vikky538 29
and the fact that you two are going to the same marriage and you have to bear with her...
ZorroRooster 19
Grow some stones and stand up for yourself.
Mauskau 36
Don't call them that.
cutiepie600 8
not to be rude but to me that sounds a little funny .