Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
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Top comments
FunWriter20 0
Lol, I hope you helped her out.
MCart_fml 0
Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.
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Comments (92)
ReMiX_fml 0
4-some. nuff said.
lazorzpewpew 0
Shoulda helped her, fool
MissMoonshine 0
That's hot. Why didn't you join her?
d_dh2310 0
ahahahaha i hope you all had a huge orgy at that point :)
runmymouth 0
I'd have probably just turned over and offered to help. In response to some of you, um, it IS possible for someone to not want to wake their boy/girlfriend for sex, you know. Maybe you don't have it but there is still a such thing as common courtesy. That said, OP, if that ever happens again you should just walk your fingers right up along with hers....or you know, other things.
claritin 0
I really hope you helped her out. When I ********** next to my guy it means "I'm really horny and I want to have sex but I think you're tired or asleep so I'm not going to be more upfront about it." He always gets the hint.
pianogoddess 0
Why didn't you help her out?
emceeShane 0
Lmao-Copter Epic Fail city
Ahhem 0
That is ******* hot. **** you.
AnthonyWinwood 0
You should have gotten on top of her right then and there