idontwanttoknow
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
glittercat
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
ashbeat
Sydney, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
MY EARS! MY EARS!
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Anonymous
Iraq 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
Anonymous
Right place, wrong person
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Anonymous
Right place, wrong body
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
hearing too much
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
The sound of silence
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Steve
Oshkosh, United States 🌶️ Spicy
In the mood
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
skipper
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Frustrated
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
anon
Rocklin, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Morrissey2.0
Seattle, United States
Heaven knows I'm miserable now
Today, I was singing my heart out in the shower, convinced I was alone. Turns out my roommate had friends over, and they could hear everything through the bathroom vent. Now, they keep requesting encore performances of my renditions of songs by The Smiths. FML
Top comments
Tylerj1124 12
Maybe they fell and hit their head and are trying to get you to call help?
Pleonasm 36
Maybe he/she was just singing in the shower and it was a coincidence, like : "Hey Mickey you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind! OooOOooo MICKEY! YES, MICKEY! YES! MIIIIIiiickey..." That's totally how it goes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
FacelessCruelty 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You mean your ex roommate right?
golden_warrior 23
I love FML comments. Dump him or beat him up
lilhellian 27
Don't forget to sue!
golden_warrior 23
Sshhh 23, don't pick on the Americans.
chabelo 10
maybe he was jerking off while watching some **** on his cellphone and the pornstar name is the same as OPs lol
MWidderAUDI 14
maybe I missed it but I did not see anywhere that said the gender of op or their roommate.
WeemanIsBack 3
Back pain
Tylerj1124 12
Maybe they fell and hit their head and are trying to get you to call help?
NeatNit 33
Yes, or otherwise calling for you. maybe he forgot to take a towel, or the lights turned off or something? stop flattering yourself!
inthedopeshow 17
And even if it were sexual, there are people in the world who have the same name as OP. Shocking, I know. If OP's name is common their roommate could easily have been moaning about someone with the same name.
starflyer59 17
but, but... OPs name is "Idontwanttoknow" I've never met anyone else with that name before.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Dont be in denial guys. What it looks like is usually whats going on. You remind me of those people who stay with their cheating spouses because they believe they'll change.
ohjoy15 33
@#41 Well 'starflyer59'... Guess your parents blessed you with a unique name too.
inthedopeshow 17
42, nope, just not the type to jump to conclusions.
ositoakaluis 16
Or maybe OP has a common name
Cartera 10
It may be worse than their head.. the roommate may have gotten soap in their eye. THE HORROR. OP YOU MONSTER.
Zambi33 6
Maybe they had back pain
MagicalOrphan 6
You should just ask them why they were doing that but it's pretty funny still
AthiestNun 11
I would moan their name back. Make it personal.
Caitie_kid 8
Lol! The roommate was probably trying to be funny. They should've stood at the bathroom door and started moaning their name back. That's what I would've done.
Caitie_kid 8
Or snuck into the bathroom and whispered next to the shower "Yessss?"
sonicgreg 12
Since it never was funny in the first place Backpains
imtooshy 18
Could this be Single White Female part2?
soapmactavish82 8
Not to many people are old enough to know about that movie
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
It's possible s/he was moaning about someone else. You're probably not the oly one with that name...
strike2867 13
It's possible, but the OP's name is Lintexesmian.
geekpower_fml 28
Lintexesmian? No way! That's my name too!
Wederoney 16
Subtle
Pleonasm 36
Maybe he/she was just singing in the shower and it was a coincidence, like : "Hey Mickey you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind! OooOOooo MICKEY! YES, MICKEY! YES! MIIIIIiiickey..." That's totally how it goes.
hurtandabused 7
Please don't say that! My nephews nicknamed Mickey!
WiseGuy79 14
That song could work for a few different names - Nikki, Ricky, Bob.. Alright maybe not that last one lol
theworldismad 10
maybe his mind wasn't the only thing Mickey was blowing in there
balletteacher 11
#25 Just change it to Bobby.
noobsatin 19
everything always has to be about you. selfish.
mollyjynxjax 28
Your username is a fail. I'm pretty sure you meant satan (as in the devil), not satin (as in the fabric)
Welshite 40
Ooh, are we changing people's usernames now? This is gonna be fun... #32: I hereby rename you hollyjinxjack.
buckdharma 38
#45- Oh-oh-oh, my turn! I rename you chasmspasm.
Pleonasm 36
#48: FuckdHardMa
Wizardo 34
#52, Cleogasm - for that royal satisfaction.
TheDrifter 24
I shall dub thee the great and mighty Wolowizard
Angel_Cacey 7
Well op , is your name common ? Maybe your roommate was thinking of someone with the same name as you..you can hope so anyway...
Axipiter 24
59, your new username is RudeHijackerWayToRuinAGoodThread.
Wizardo 34
#56, you are now TheSensibleDriver, cos you know, you have no road rage.
Pleonasm 36
We're not supposed to go full circle!
Wizardo 34
But if we do does that mean this thread is like a Möbius strip and its a fixed point in time that never ends?! In that case take the red pill...
buckdharma 38
#52- You win.
buckdharma 38
#48 GeoPrizm- Takes all day to get there.
noobsatin 19
actually I did mean it as in the fabric. nice try though silly person.
First_JOman 22
#9/#123: I just thought you got the 'a' and the 't' backwards :S
Wizardo 34
Sleep with your back against the wall and a bat next to your bed, don't want any unwanted cavity penetrations anywhere...
blackgirllb 12
man or woman