Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML
Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML
Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML
Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a Portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my Portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID, and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML
Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
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Top comments
Tomaino 3
You could have been the guy IN the Porta-Potty.
badonis 0
wow, how shitty is that?
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Comments (23)
badonis 0
wow, how shitty is that?
KRYPTON1T3 5
portable John. lol. and yes, that is extremely shitty.
Dr_Phil 0
Well that's a pretty shitty situation to be in.
Weird_Gurl7504 0
ur an idiot
mochoch 0
well atleast you have a car and go to college... you could be a homeless bum. so it is not that bad.
MiGman 5
I'd rather not have a car; than have a car full of a tonne of shit
geon_olam 17
based on ur logic: being a homeless bum isnt so bad, you could be a terminally ill three legged pony who is constantly getting verbally abused.
TJ_fml 0
Try using a couple of bottles of fabreeze?
Gho5tk3y 17
Hopefully the school will pay for the windshield and a hardcore cleaning.
marti_fml 0
Really bad
writerajere 0
I could be worse, have you ever been in a car that hit a skunk. There's not a thing you can do to get rid of the smell and your only option is to sell it at a lose.
Trolliolio 6
No worries, the smell goes away after about a month.
angorashi 0
Lmao #6... right idea... Folks, when you think your life us ******, remember you could be a homeless bum, problem solved :)
Sappho_fml 0
That suuucks! I'm sorry! I hope you have insurance...
Tomaino 3
You could have been the guy IN the Porta-Potty.
mitchpally 0
haha you still think it blew over.. hahaha.. me and the guys moved it then dumped it on you car.. haha oh my god I can't believe you didn't know!!