Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
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Top comments
FunWriter20 0
Lol, I hope you helped her out.
MCart_fml 0
Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.
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Comments (92)
dickliker 0
I would of woke you up and said put that dick in me and make me moan because if they have sec then we should to
onorexveritas 24
that was your que to make your roommate listen to YOU have sex from 6-9am
YourAFailmod 4
Damn your room mate has got some stamina!
sugarbear0727 19
Wow. When I'm horny, and I play with myself, my boyfriend is either helping or on top within a minute or two. Don't be a baby, and start getting a few lessons from your roommate about pleasing a woman, it'll help.
wruch 6
Okay so I'm not trying to be "that guy" but we dont know the circumstances. What if his roommate constantly keeps them awake and he's tired? Or maybe he got in a fight with his gf and he's upset that shes masturbating to his roommate? And maybe he was too tired from lack of sleep to help her out. Or else we all agree he would or should have. No one knows the situation, calm down. He will most definitely take the opportunity next time ;)
Z33F 2
I think everyone hates u for being stupid in that situation
Sally2dicks21 8
Kinky
PsychoKittie 7
WAT IS BAD ABOUT THAT!?!?
karmaisabitch6 3
take advantage of the situation and **** her man dont be a wuss
Nederlander95 14
Sooo **** her?