Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
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Top comments
FunWriter20 0
Lol, I hope you helped her out.
MCart_fml 0
Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.
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Comments (92)
10_4Franky 0
"Mouse a click" is genius.
OddLittleThing 0
Your girlfriend's fml moment would be this: sleeping over at my boyfriend's I got woken up by his roommate having sex. getting turned on I decided to **********.. my boyfriend eventually wakes up but instead of helping, he texts this story to fml. fml
slash1500 0
haha good one
A_Day_Wasted 0
I was laying with my boyfriend, after waking up I realize he was masturbating. I got mad but at least he let me finish him.
CableX17 0
roommate also referres to two people who share an appartment or something. it's become a very generalized term
CableX17 0
I totally thought that was gonna happen! lol
aaliyahsagirah 5
I agree, the only way this is an FML is if after you noticed, you attemtped to get down and dirty with her and she declined... now THAT would be a **** your life moment
HuiYaMing 0
how can your life suck? re-think this.....
purplemonster89 0
lol "flick the bean" ftw
22cute 17
how is this bad? Join in or enjoy the show. Masterbatimg is good for the sex drive.