Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
Today, my pregnant sister has apparently always loved my boyfriend's name and wants to give it to her child. She expects me to break up with my boyfriend so "it doesn't get weird." FML
Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML
Today, my brother and his girlfriend are fighting about something they agreed on YEARS ago. Every couple of months this argument comes back and his girlfriend changes the rules or the definition. I can’t believe she gonna become my sister-in-law. FML
Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML
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Top comments
Blacksxe 1
Tell him you would change the size of his penis.
perdix 31
If the sister gets a new name, she won't be able to date anyone else. But if you get your bulbous, misshapen, grotesque banana nose fixed, you'll be able to have your choice of many more guys!
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Comments (104)
radioedit 7
Ouch!!
changesinme 0
If he's a surgeon HELL YEAH FOR A FREE NOSE JOB!
FayBerry 13
I'm sorry. That ^^^^^ was funny!
rexgar2000 10
then get a new nose OP. like Michael Jackson
starxshine 0
Punch him in the face and change the shape of his.
13FMYLIFE 0
I'd be asking your sister if her boyfriend had a brother after that!
ProjeKtSC2 8
Really she's saying she'd rather have a whipped boyfriend than an honest one haha..
downtime 13
62 speaks the truth. Very few people could answer that question honestly in the way her sisters boyfriend did. He's probably lying, male experience in relationships teaches us to avoid the truth when a complimentary lie can be used. Some comply, others like your boyfriend are able to live in reality - you should join him.
shadystyle 6
this sounds like a three sided relationship. the sister and the boyfriend and the girlfriend. op, shut up. push him out of a window and be done with it. or here's a better idea, stay out of their relationship.
shadystyle 6
upon re-reading this, I realize my comprehension skills are lacking. my bad
BayleeWasHere 1
Just nag. It always does the job.
MrsDruidess 23
grow up OP! There's lots of reasons to say what he said. #1 not being a cheesy punch line, not wanting to be a copy cat, having a sense of humor, honesty. . . the list goes on. So grow up and realize that the fake shit, does not make for a real relationship.
mk58 31
So now you know what he looks at when he's talking to you. (Most normal people look at the eyes).
boofgall 16
I look all over someone's face when I talk to them. Subtly. I never figured that was abnormal, though.
thisisafunnyname 12
if he's looking at your nose...then you have small ****
mapletree 8
I always look at people's noses when they talk to me… is that bad?
mk58 31
33, it really does depend, I mean, as long as you're not fixated on one spot on someone's face, you're okay. However, if you're point-blank scrutinizing their nose, they might think you're a little odd.
rubberduckie94 13
well maybe your just not to that point in your relationship yet and he was trying to lighten the mood.
kasadillabb 4
true, but it was still rude..
Nailpolishaholic 20
My boyfriend says exactly that all the time, just to lighten the mood. He uses it to tease me and I don't take it seriously because he's said he wants to change my last name too, so all's well. ;)
2dog 15
So that's what happens
Katastrophe101 8
You should really just stop.
Numeral 4
Look on the bright side, at least you know your sister got a good one
kocoman500 2
Bullshitting < Honesty
BeefyQueef 5
Hey I would take the offer. Nose jobs are expensive these days.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
"Well you can pay for it then." Can't really say no can he?
Llamacod 11
Sure he can, he just said that if there was anything he could change it would be the nose not that he was going to change it
Blacksxe 1
Tell him you would change the size of his penis.
perdix 31
If the sister gets a new name, she won't be able to date anyone else. But if you get your bulbous, misshapen, grotesque banana nose fixed, you'll be able to have your choice of many more guys!
brick_man33 14
do you have a beak for a nose? Peck his eyes out!