Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML
Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML
Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
She's six, she'll get over it.
iRoc46n2 4
Does your boyfriend by chance have a sibling closer to her age? Maybe it would get her on a different course.
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Comments (99)
EMTchic 14
Don't feel bad, my eight year old little sister is determined to make my fiancé hers . She has tracked him down at the mall among other places just to give him a hug and and when he is over she stays shoved up his ass . It's gotten to the point where he won't come over anymore, I either go to his house or we go to Starbucks or somewhere so we don't have to deal with her =P
BatemanFML 0
Engaged at 16?
SquishFish 15
Hmmm maybe she watches you two together......
sabri246 5
Future stalker
asherm 15
I'm picturing a young Alacia Silverstone... Well if anyone else remembers that movie
o76923 8
Unless your boyfriend is 8, I'm not too worried.
TrentF13 12
You're so ******...
retrorewind 13
your an idiot :-P
jessalinemai1398 6
*you're
kimg0885 23
Damn you'd better hope she still doesn't want him in ten years, by then she may have an actual chance.
2RaRa25 6
Coincidentally, I just got done watching a mini-marathon of the show, Stalked, on ID on my netflix. Funny this should be the FML to appear just minutes after I finished my third episode. Also, nice script for a Lifetime movie. Seriously, though, if she doesn't grow out of this by a decent age, like early adolescence, I'd let her parents or your parents know she has stalker-like tendencies.
braydin72 6
I think I already saw this movie. The kid was a psychopath.
Spark_Slicker 19
I doubt you have to worry about her stealing him away, but I understand it's probably annoying nonetheless. Talk to her parents if things get really out of hand.
ops1994 4
That's kinda cute