Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said, "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said, "Now I know why." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML
Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
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Top comments
TASagent 0
YDI for demanding a free car wash because you're boinking an employee. Talk about a sense of entitlement.
SS60 0
ouch, he's a dick. FYL
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Comments (78)
angel55033 12
you must expect a lot of free things in life you sound like a spoiled high school girl op
easoccer515 0
what a jerk!
marlarooNaps 0
so...you're like ugly?
Carlie_McCartney 1
"He looked at me...then he looked at me... I think he ogled you! :0
babysittingfail 0
Ogled is my new word of the day. Thanks bunches
BritLass 15
You deserve it for trying to sponge off of your boyfriend and his boss.
haterzhate 1
THREEE WORDSS -dump his ass
frenchfry564 0
Shit ain't free, just cuz u kno sumone font mean u get free stuff. If I know the president does that mean I don't gotta pay my taxes?
MexaDoreano 1
YDI Just because you're dating Greg doesn't mean the rest of the world wants to give you free stuff. And since he's only an Employee, not the manager, he can't offer you that anyway. YDI for thinking that you're better than other people at that car wash.
CremeEggs 6
I love chocolate o.O
boycrazy30007 12
YDI cause I hate girls who try to act "cute" to get free shit.