Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said, "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said, "Now I know why." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML
Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
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Top comments
TASagent 0
YDI for demanding a free car wash because you're boinking an employee. Talk about a sense of entitlement.
SS60 0
ouch, he's a dick. FYL
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Comments (78)
tbagg74 0
im pretty sure what you mean is, Today I realised my boyfriend works at a carwash, FML
skiBOAT 0
Maybe he said that because you're fat. Get off your lazy ass and wash your own damn car.
banana2022 4
What an asshole! I hope you punched him in the face; Greg and that douche who said that. Unbelievable. Sorry that happened to you :(
oopsie_daisy8446 0
YDI for having a boyfriend named Greg.
Tubasaurus 0
Don't ask for a free car wash just because your boyfriend works there. Can't you just wash your car yourself?
burnhamt23 0
Ydi for being ugly and trying to get in free
Bleep_fml 0
Sucks that he told his coworker that he doesn't have a girlfriend, but still, YDI for trying to leech a free car wash off his workplace. You want a free car wash, you wash your own damn car. If car-wash employees aren't even allowed to give their parents a discount, why would their girlfriends be entitled to free stuff?
thelonelylurker 0
Cutely asked for a free carwash. YDI
Tarynxo10 0
Either you dump the jerk, or you make him feel guilty. if my boyfriend ever did that shit.. he would regret it. :) good luck with that asshole.
courtney680 17
I agree!!
jayfx 0
LOL damn. dump him already