Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML
Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
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Top comments
yamatelle 19
As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.
LardZilla 11
Wow, that's just some bad luck.
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Comments (102)
LardZilla 11
Wow, that's just some bad luck.
urdirtyolduncle 15
I guess your idea came up short.
BagleHead 6
If that had happened to me, I would have asked them to join me on my journey.
instnt1nfction 17
12, they are not leprechauns
TheWindowLicker 13
That's funny, 13. I never knew only leprechauns could go on a journey. Guess you learn something new every day!
tylersign 11
That's right 13. Gnomes can go on journeys too. Have you never seen an Expedia commercial?
IronMaiden45 0
ask them to join your journey to fight dragoons and evil wizards you need hobbits to help
NoNotTheFace 8
I swear I replied to the comment below you. Please don't kill me Yamatelle.
KiddNYC1O 22
26- No but I've seen Goosebumps!
tjv3 10
big deal , should have said "top of tha morning to ya" or asked them if the represent the lollipop guild, then yell I'm off the see the wizard and run off
dre_bro11 12
26, and gnomeo and Juliet.
Kiirst_mt1994 26
O_o
screamingxpanda 5
Should've just explained the story to them.
Lanceeden 12
Midget couple then goes on to adopt her, claiming she's their long lost daughter.
Lanceeden 12
Oh and I only assumed op was a girl since any guy shouldn't act like that. Lol
iBanana 17
Grammar Nazis don't say lol.
Lanceeden 12
COOL STORY PISS OFF WANKER
zachherbert 10
Haha laugh out loud. Oh my god this made me roll on floor laughing. Oh wait be right back. Talk to you later.
iBanana 17
78- Too far bro, too far..
Omfgitsmia 15
Lmao it'd be funnier if one of them punched you, but that does suck.
Freeze_fml 17
Someone's paranoid.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Yea maybe op left their phone somewhere and the guy was trying to give it back to you.
picklezz123 5
at least you got rid if the stalker!
sheethapins 13
You assume much. I found him.
bubblekitty 1
You should of just told that dude to leave you alone instead of going though all the trouble of hiding from him. If he wouldn't of stopped you could of taken that to the police.
ronton 4
Should HAVE; could HAVE
KiddNYC1O 22
7- From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
ipodlover1995 0
Thank you, captain hindsight.
NoNotTheFace 8
You've angered them, you fool. You're lucky one didn't sit on top of the other and punch you in the neck. Not the face.
MaddyHatter 8
ooooooooor, they could both take one leg and start biting your ankles.
yamatelle 19
As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.
NoNotTheFace 8
They are real people to who? They are real people to my uncle? No. He stands firm on the fact that midgets are the friends of Peter Pan. Delusional fellow.
NoNotTheFace 8
I swear I replied to the comment below you. Please don't kill me Yamatelle.
ikickgingers 15
Midgets legit scare me. Idk why... I generally run the other way as fast as possible. :/
yamatelle 19
NoNotTheFace- Don't worry I won't kill you, but I might have to rape you. If you scream, I shall super glue your eyes shut and chop off your boobs. ;)
HatefulPilot 0
110 mph and no seatbelt? Are joo crazy? I go 160 with no seatbelt, but I'm usually 500 feet up ;)
NoNotTheFace 8
Rape me? Fine. But you gotta buy me dinner first. (Taco Bell, perhaps) Then we shall go to your basement and I'll be the nine year old and you shall be the priest from the near-by church.
yamatelle 19
Fair enough. Not to worry though, I won't do it on your face, I prefer ****. ikick if you were on a game adventure, the last thing or "boss" you'd be facing will be a midget. Mine would be a clown. I ******* hate those things.
ikickgingers 15
Like from "it"? ;)
KiddNYC1O 22
To what?
phoenixslayer69 4
I wish I could do that speed in the air.... There is no such thing as to fast.
jessesgirl14 16
Midst Chunking?!
jessesgirl14 16
Supposed to say midget chunking! But damn you autocorrect got the best of my comment!!! Grrrr!! Lol
jessthebest3 0
... Not nice
sheethapins 13
What? No way. I thought they were dolls.
sheethapins 13
77 is thumb-downable. It was meant for 9. .
phoenixslayer69 4
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha midgets hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha No seriously midgets are real people to
Wheredidgrungego 12
Wow what are the odds?? Go play lottery!