Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML
Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML
Today, I've been guilt tripped, ranted at, called names, ostracized and told what a horrible person I am for, "turning my back on family." My former brother is in jail for unspeakable crimes, yet somehow I’m the bad guy for not standing by and supporting him or offering to help pay for a lawyer. FML
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Top comments
mominzed 19
Give her a real ordeal to write about!
chosha_fml 27
Please, please mention that in your Amazon review of her book.
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Comments (63)
Hazelino 25
I love it how peolpe keep wondering where Curacao is. Let me help you out: Curaçao is an island in the southern Caribbean Sea, off the Venezuelan coast, that forms part of the Dutch Caribbean. The Country of Curaçao is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. It has a population of over 150,000 on an area of 444 km2 (171 sq mi) and its capital is Willemstad.
QueenofWheels 13
Somebody beat you to that.
Bibliovore 26
And here I thought those wondering were doing so facetiously because it's displaying under the FML with a question mark instead of the cedilla, as "Cura?ao". ;)
QueenofWheels 13
Where can you find where the person is from? Reading on window phone app.
Dkman 11
Op. If the client is bad mouthing you. Sue for slander
CrazayJulzKay 5
To be fair, what would you expect from somebody who was imprisoned for fraud? Truth or something?
vikky538 29
was it published...
sassy2085 16
Yes but that wouldn't be compelling reading now would it
crackpotL 33
The truth doesnt sell books.
fantasyworld 39
I want to know the title.