Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML
Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML
Today, I've been guilt tripped, ranted at, called names, ostracized and told what a horrible person I am for, "turning my back on family." My former brother is in jail for unspeakable crimes, yet somehow I’m the bad guy for not standing by and supporting him or offering to help pay for a lawyer. FML
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Top comments
mominzed 19
Give her a real ordeal to write about!
chosha_fml 27
Please, please mention that in your Amazon review of her book.
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Comments (63)
Rosebudx 32
Too many people watch shows like Law and Order where suspects who've obviously done a crime and freely admit to having done it get off on technicalities or obscure rules, and then they think that's going to work for them too. Sorry your former client is one of these geniuses, especially now that she's libeled you.
cakefete2 31
If every inmate who claimed innocence actually was innocent, jail cells would be empty.
ThatHorse 15
Actually, not every criminal out there claims innocence. some of them are proud of their crimes and will openly admit to them with a smile on their faces.
NicH1799 20
A victim complex that would make the entirety of tumblr proud.
715chiefs 15
I had to read it like ten times before I understood you were the attorney.
Enslaved 38
Well according to "The Shawshank Redemption" "Everyone's innocent in here."
SkyGuy32 17
What book?
Marielle_T 10
Maybe that book will also be turned into a successful TV series!
captainsmegma 12
Maybe while in prison she took the creative writing class taught by O.J.
aubama_fml 15
short term memory, long term punishment
waters1701 5
Sue her for libel