Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
Sweeneys_Waiting 0
Why?? That's all I ask. Why should it have to be that way? What happened to mature thoughtful boyfriends who waited until marriage or at least though before they spoke?
I_am_stupid_also 6
Your bf's life is ****** if he has to wait, much less ask, for a birthday *******. Hanging out watching **** movies with your gf, now that is something to look forward to.
xxdannychaosxx 0
YDI. I mean you said your friend just got the Boyfriend TODAY. Do you really think he will come out and say what your boyfriend said? Trust me if he had been going out for a while, he wouldave said the same thing.
jaimesmiles 0
shut up you disgusting perverts. her boyfriend is an asshole, joke or no joke. relationships are not all about sex, in fact, love is NOT lust. bottom line. i would be so pissed.
Sweeneys_Waiting 0
EXACTLY JAIMESMILES!!!!! Why the hell aren't ppl factoring in LOVE. You CAN have a healthy relationship w/o sex. Believe it or not.
ohitsali 0
you seriously couldn't see that coming? YDI.
lazorzpewpew 0
#97: Lol, marriage...
jesusjr 0
On the bright side, your boyfriend is smart!
Sweeneys_Waiting 0
Why?? Why should it have to be this way?? What happened to mature thoughtful boyfriends who waited until marriage or at least THOUGHT before they spoke? My boyfriend of 3 years still respects me and doesn't ask for things like that if I don't want to give it.
monogato 0
That's the difference between a developing relationship and an established relationship -- your boyfriend is comfortable enough with you to tell you what he REALLY wants.