Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
couragewolf9001 0
**** your friend's life for having a boyfriend who blatantly lies to her. Chances are, your boyfriend wants more than just a ******* for his birthday, but you're too self-righteous and naive to give him a chance fully express his birthday wishes.
Us3rNam3 0
Women??? They try to use their body & sex appeal to get a man interested and when they get what they want they try & change us. Why do you think relationships usually end with someone's infidelity. Let me give you a clue.... most men want SEX & most women want money & power :)
oxymoronic 0
It's still a jackass thing to say that probably just made the girl feel used if that's all she was worth to him on his birthday.
Waabishkii_ikwe 0
Your friend's boyfriend lies, and so what if yours wants a *******? You don't have to spend any money on it, and you get to make him happy. Why is that so bad?
dirtyeyes 0
Hey, take it as a compliment. Maybe you should give them away more freely. ;)
youaresofucked 0
you sound like almost dont want to give him that ********. if you think this an FML then **** your bfs life. STOP ******* WHINING.
Waabishkii_ikwe 0
I was thinking the same thing, #65 :)
ZiggyMorrison 0
I think what he really wants is a cleavland steamer or an alabama hot pocket or possibly an alaskan a rusty trombone ;)
Us3rNam3 0
And what is it you ask for on your birthday? I bet it's safe to say it isn't to just "hang out and watch a movie or two."
SquidUlysses 0
If your boyfriend has to ask for a BJ, F his life.