Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
CherryKillsAgain 0
LOL, that's funny. If my bf said that i'd just laugh it off... Although if he's serious, why not?! I mean, it's easier than buying something ur not sure he'll like. I've never practiced oral, but if he'd ask 4 it, i'd say ok.
JiggstheMan 0
You asked for it. I would have answered the same exact way.
Monty_Python 0
YDI for expecting a different answer. Seriously...
Sofa_King 0
Hey, it's his birthday, not yours! I mean, you want him to ask for things you like, such as watching movie or two and just be together... Can't you concentrate for a while on what he wants, not you? He may be exactly the same as guy No.1, but you failed to understand his needs, so he gave it to you straight.
mon_e_mons 0
well at least your boyfriend came right out and said it. "hang out and movie" = BJ.
lolwut_fail 0
I'm not understanding how that makes your boyfriend a jerk. If anything, he shouldn't even have to request a birthday *******, it should be a given. Maybe you should be a little more considerate.
bread_fml 0
I think #135 needs a ********. He obviously needs to relax a little.
Epoch 0
so you're upset because you didn't get the answer you wanted? grow up.
CheezerX 0
lol rember its her new bf so he just saying w/e she wants to hear but hoenstly in his mind he's probaly saying dang i want her to blow me...
Adrianna69 0
Thats pretty much all boys care about lol. They are nice in the beginning, and "pretend" that they dont care about it, but then they spill and beg for it. I hate it. lol