Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.
Doortje 30
Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
locachick101 0
eww! thats really disgusting and nasty.. you shoulda stop her or something
seraphxchild 3
oh my god EW EW EW EW WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?!
erongetti 2
ditto!!!
yesiyes 0
your mum
Kelita 0
eeeeeeeewwwwwwww that's just wrong. Well that taste wouldn't b in ur mouth if u would have pushed her off. Once again....eeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!
lekiat 0
TMI...FYL
Jimboom 12
*Dons Matrix style black coat and Morpheus's sunglasses* Are you sure that's phlegm you're chewing?
jemmawainwright 0
poor guy!!
melibear89 7
that's disgusting. what kind of person does that.
survivorSos 0
was it good test ???????? loooool !!!!
hghiPigh 0
was it salty?
whiterabbit420 4
lol
yesiyes 0
just a bit
rattusrattus 19
Oh eww. Just... ew. Ew. Ew ew ew. Gross. Eww. Wait... why didn't you push her away? Summary: ew.