Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.
Doortje 30
Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.
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Comments (84)
20grounded 0
is she still your gf ?
kayPandastyle 15
I couldn't take that idk id prob break up or just needed some space cus that is freaking disgusting and horrendous to do..does she not have any sense? Go to the effn bathroom!!
atomicJ 0
She wanted you to have a piece of her. How cute.
Kelita 0
EW but funny haha!
lazypopo 0
your girlfriend is nasty
atomheartm_fml 0
Happy valentine's day, by the way.
ulicksam 0
Why blame it on her? You obviously kept kissing her too. Idiot. YDI.
rattusrattus 19
Maybe she was a vice-hugging girl
krisleger 0
that's freaking gross. lmao.
fri3ndxenemy 0
i would have puked -_-
Troll1 0
that's hot
kriegs444 5
Thats digusting. thats awesome that i read that while eating. :-/