Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
randiZ25 0
use her tooth brush to scrub it off
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Put it under her pillow.
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Comments (167)
seriouslywtfdude 0
I think you are missing that he's being sarcastic... as in he wouldn't have used one. your comments make me want to stab myself in the leg. seriously.
MissAwesomeness 4
Lol at the people who thinks they're right in correcting the OP. Mould is a shape. Also take into consideration that she's from the UK as well. geez.
trippydoll 4
mould? lol
djxtones 0
That's how you spell it properly in British English.
fairypower 4
I have a picture of a blonde tranny that's lazy and throws used condoms on the ground
underguarded 20
how is it her fault that the condom was left there for 3 weeks? she had sex on your bed thus, and threw the condom on the floor close to your bed. I would assume the area around your bed ,you maintain. How would OP not notice a condom on the floor near her bed for 3 weeks???
sammy92 0
I would put a used condom under the other girls pillow. the would be funny Heeheehee
flyynhigh 0
I agree with wiseguy.. try cleaning once in awhile! you wouldn't have this problem if you would've cleaned..
anonacs 0
Sounds like you both left it on the floor for three weeks. You're just as nasty a her.
life_lol 0
and you did not know what it was. WTF
lazypopo 0
I would have slapped the bitch. that's nasty.