Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
randiZ25 0
use her tooth brush to scrub it off
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Put it under her pillow.
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Comments (167)
PageantGirlXOXO 16
I really love your comments and username. It makes me smile every time.
EatnBeef 7
win
Cass3m0 0
I believe you need to invest in a maid, OP.
Avenged7Gabe 0
she couldn't use condom because it was stuck to the floor you retard
InBetweenDreams 0
3 weeks? You didn't notice a condom on your floor for that long? :/ You AND your roommate need to learn something about hygiene. That's just disgusting.
taelorrae011 0
nice roommate...
KingDingALing 9
Or the OP could scrape it off and then drop it on her room-mate's face while she's sleeping. That'll teach her to not leave used condoms laying around! Somebody could have slipped on the lubed up floor and bashed their skull's in!
aandra 1
She might have been out of the flat for three weeks. That's why she didn't notice it on the floor... -_-'
barb_pointe 0
Since I find it hard to believe that she didn't notice it for three weeks then I should point out the fact that she could have been with another friend or on vacation for theat matter and the roommate picked it up before she got back.
breeiaraye 0
thts funny...but gross. time for a new room mate!!!