Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
randiZ25 0
use her tooth brush to scrub it off
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Put it under her pillow.
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Comments (167)
nynjapyrate 0
59- was the pun intended? also OP... lrn2spell k THANKS
mrssheldoncooper 0
Your roommate is disgusting.
JasonJ 5
and for 3 weeks u didn't notice it OP?
Hawkcody1958 1
learn how to spell,and Clean
MissBunny25 0
yucky.. I believe I'd 1. burn my mattress, 2. burn my sheets.. then burn the room ... grossness
nygiantsfan85 8
op I would say **** her life because I would kill her.The is just wrong in so many ways!!!
doof_fisch 2
Trojan toejam
JryanM 0
do you comment on everything???
gusgus36 5
so disgusting.
seriouslywtfdude 0
I think you are missing that he was being sarcastic... as in he wouldn't have.