Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
randiZ25 0
use her tooth brush to scrub it off
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Put it under her pillow.
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Comments (167)
meowmeowwkitty 0
no cumming off the floor with that condom.
meowmeowwkitty 0
she said it was mold, can't get it off
BugsBunny1 4
Take "most obnoxious" off your list because the people that say "First" are the most obnoxious, contradicting everything you just said.
life_hates_you 0
I wasn't sure if OP meant to say mold or mound of yellow stuff. And it's very likely she wasn't home for most of that 3 weeks since she said it's been there for 3 weeks and won't come up now. So maybe once the roomate (who is apparently a dirty, nasty asshole) told her what it was she also told her when it happened.
TropicalTulipz 0
and u never saw it there for 3 weeks???
SAgirl 23
Got to love othere peoples higine .... god shes disgusting, has she botherd to even take a shower since then aswell?
nikki9tails 3
if it was by your bed try cleaning it even if the stain or mold was there, get new roomate while your at it
LetsRollOut 2
Wouldn't they have to read it in order to find out whether they like it?
LetsRollOut 2
Damn you, comment bug. Put my posts where they belong!
burns_daniel 0
Hey retard, you spelled mold wrong...its not 'mould'..dumbass...i can't believe you haven't dropped out of college yet.
kimberlyann18 0
actually she spelled it right. maybe you should look up mould before you start calling people out. yes there is "mold" but there's also "mould"