Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
randiZ25 0
use her tooth brush to scrub it off
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Put it under her pillow.
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Comments (167)
perdix 31
Well, at least you can say you got some.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
but she didn't.
perdix 31
Not in the FUN way, but literally she did when she was trying to clean up the "mess."
Alexxcunningham 0
...off the ground
Alexxcunningham 0
...off the ground
blahblahblah5_x 13
How often do you clean your room?
pantsman66 20
LOL...you're totally right
cdatribe23 0
ur roomate is f***ing disgusting.
samadams42 0
literally^^
Lalala1996 0
^ WINWINWINWIN.
FYLDeep 26
Kick your roommate out. That's pretty disgusting that they would **** in your bed, let alone leave a condom lying next to it. It's hard to believe there's so many shitheads in this world.
kweenbitch 0
Y-******-DI!!!!!! you didn't notice that shit on your floor for three weeks?! even if it is your roommates, you shouldn've noticed it. pig.
aandra 1
Don't get so excited... Maybe she was out of the flat for three weeks?
kweenbitch 0
who da **** is excited? btw, the probability of the original roomie not being around for 3 weeks is slim to none. ****.
aandra 1
As Terry Pratchet said: “More than three exclamation marks are a sure sign of an insane mind.” Besides, you are obviously getting a bit too excited if you need to call me a **** just because I wrote a comment you didn't like. Also, it is highly probable that OP was, for example, on the holidays for three weeks.
yazmi_09 3
agree with aandra, doubt op walked next to it said "oh hey used condom!" and left it there to froth bacteria, she was most likely out of town or something
samadams42 0
you are a queen bitch YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE PRICK BITCH OVERIES GONE PSYCO *****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hows that for insane.
DearlyBeloved20 3
Its pretty insane
aandra 1
#71 First of all, please read the "FMyLife's comments policy" as it says not to post "any shocking or hateful comments about other users(...)" Thank you.
agamid 1
eeeeeeeeeeew. encountered something similar at work the other day though...
mintcar 10
Do you not know what mold look like? Unless your bedroom is a moist and dark environment, it will most likely not thrive/grow. Also, mold growth can lead to health issues. So I would like to know why you allowed it to be there for three weeks without checking it out.
manda_baby_rawr 4
Ahem.... Mould = shape Mold = fungus op clearly said mould...not mold. learn to read.
mintcar 10
Manda, you're an idiot. MOULD is British English. MOLD is American. Learn to STFU when you don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
Min, umadbro?
mintcar 10
ZOMG I is so mad.
Jizwold 0
I hadn't thought about it but 62 might be right also op lives in sweden not britainland
blueandpurpleroc 4
actually you're the idiot. not only did she mean mould as in shape, she is from sweden so British English doesn't apply here. .___.
redbluegreen 41
Judging by the comments, I'm inferring that you guys aren't aware that it's only spelled that way in the United States. Since the OP lives in Sweden, they would spell it "mould" not "mold", and no they don't mean a mould of something, but a fungus.
manda_baby_rawr 4
you're a dumbass. learn to English. -.-'
amiemariej 0
mold doesn't 'need' lack of light to grow, in fact it doesn't even 'need' a moist environment. I think you mean "fungus" not mold which are two different things.
ILoveEggnog 7
Rub her nose in it.
Xythenol 6
BAD roommate, bad! You do that outside!
zowieandzander77 1
ok someone has to say it ... SPELL CHECK.. it's mold not mould... ( and eww you didn't notice a used condom on your floor for three weeks???)
heb3003 0
agreed to both points.
mintcar 10
Ever heard of British English? Damn. Comments like these annoy the **** out of me.
sailorzoe 14
lurkerrrrrr
justsomgirl 4
there's a reason no one was saying it. they'd have looked stupid if they had.
sailorzoe 14
mold*
Jazzyj152 0
ever heard pf British English?
samadams42 0
ever heard of sweden?