ouch
United States
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Aliiveopen
This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff
Wasilla, United States
Demon drink
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
I want to forget too...
New York, United States
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Akron, United States
My life
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Anonymous
San Jose del Monte, Philippines
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
the only sober one
San Diego, United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
innocent
Australia
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
xMiSS_CuTiEx
United States
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Well how insensitive of you to bleed all over her carpet.
tacojauns 45
God what hell! Do you know how hard it is to get blood off the carpet?
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Comments (129)
FindingYujin 26
Well how insensitive of you to bleed all over her carpet.
thatkidhesh 11
damn you for bleeding when punched OP.
omgitsmoe 26
Get her drunk , then enlist her in WWE
ilianaaa 8
Hahaha omg I am so sorry for you kiddo
UnluckyGenius 21
Damn it OP that was a challenge! She wanted to bare knuckle box for who gets control of the household and you caves!
Athleticism 11
40- There's a button for expressing your sorrow for OP. You should try it out.
MrConcise 35
@67 - In all fairness, a comment gives a face and a personality to the number. Even though thousands of people feel sorry for you, Jim and Jane feeling sorry for you feels nice as well.
ohgeejosee 19
What in the mother of ***** is wrong with parents these days... No pun intended :/
bfsd42 20
67, there's a button for expressing your dislike of a comment. Maybe you should try that out. And yes, feel free to use it on mine.
GoodLookingGeese 10
Yeah, she just won mine "Mother of the Year" trophy!
Mizzesbestie 13
Does this remind anyone of eminems song brain dead where his mom is like "look at you your getting blood all over my rug!" ?
nick3600 22
yea what an asshole he so deserved it
xRezSynn 15
Hope your nose is alright
SuperKnuckels 6
Pabst Blue Ribbon turns normal people into trailer trash instantly.
Pesticides 19
so now op's mother is under the influence?
peacelovecoffee 20
Did you even read the FML #81?
Pesticides 19
I didn't catch that in the first look over. but I meant that no one should assume she is drinking pbr, and not everyone one that does is trailer trash*
4Madden 19
Don't bleed on the carpet then.
happyhead123 16
Or at least make it invisible blood. Or something easy like that.
tacojauns 45
God what hell! Do you know how hard it is to get blood off the carpet?
Mr2212 7
Pfffft... Thats an easy job all you need is a Sham Wow and a little bit of elbow grease.
acerredrum 23
And a drop of peroxide.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Not really, peroxide and an absorbent towel takes blood out of anything.... And I should note I know this from washing nursing scrubs. White nursing scrubs. What idiot thought it was a good idea to make people who handle blood, urine and excrement daily dress in white?
Meettitan 14
Because white denotes purity and cleanliness. You can also bleach EVERYTHING.
dawnimus 21
Vanish. Vanish is always the answer. At least that's what the adverts tell me!
IStoleTheCookies 16
"Bang! And the dirt is gone!" said Barry Scott.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
"Hi, it's Billy Mays here with another fantastic product."
IStoleTheCookies 16
^ Who's Billy Mays?
SumBur 11
The God of infomercials. Silly child.
monnanon 14
39 is Irish we dont really know who billy mays is this side of the pond.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Thank you ^
Ambient25 25
Shame on you both, Billy Mays is the reason why we can eat Chiptole without worry
Ambient25 25
If I were you OP I'd put a liquid laxative in the liquor
Jjimen1654 9
But then op would be cleaning up crap from the carpet not just blood.
\ 28
most importantly, if this behavior has been persisting, it's time for OP to call Al-Anon
smc3106 25
She should have, also, yelled at you for hitting her fist with your face..
Wolstenholme 11
Jesus OP get your shit together
nick3600 22
ikr
girlbye23 15
Call child services. She'll sober up then (Unless your not a minor)
SlapAndTickle 20
If he is not a minor then why call CPS?
SlapAndTickle 20
I can't read for shit today. /gives up commenting for today.
Horsempeg 25
seriously though, how old are you??
Yodelmeister 18
No idea why this has downvotes. No, hitting a child is never okay and yes, OP should call CPS.
Link5794 18
Punching a child in the face is never okay. A firm but gentle, redirecting backhand to the arm paired with a stern warning is perfectly fine, but beyond that, just don't.
LennyComa 39
Christ sake OP, get your head outta your ass, bleeding is for the weak.