Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control, because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
starflake 3
Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.
Sawadee 0
No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink
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Comments (250)
MrTarzanman 0
Damn kid!! She got dat ass!!! U betta be prayin while she meditating and shit!!
FaithX 0
YDL - ALWAYS use a condom.
U_C_O_K 0
You totally deserved that.... Don't be a fool wrap your tool ! Has no one ever shared this valuable info with you
FoundManyLemons 0
Excellent.... Of course, always use a condom. Especially if you haven't both been tested, or had the birth control talk, (or the abortion talk...).
verstecktergeist 11
So.. you actually trust her after -knowing- her for a full month? You're both winners there..
c0w 0
Why the hell you sitting here on FML?! Go get Plan B!
blahdsflksfd 0
No sex before marriage, YDI
ZuRG_fml 7
#135, Are you serious? Condoms are pretty much the ONLY method of bc that prevent both pregnancy and STI transmission. Did you have AOSE growing up or something? "We're obligated to mention condoms, but condoms are full of holes and sex is for sinners and ******. The more you know." "Good, so there's no reason to use condoms anyway. *sex*"
dasauto 0
First!
dyld921 2
This is why you always use condoms. BC or not.
Shoopman 0
I suggest you invest in a clothes hanger.
mandalaine05 0
You're ******* sick.