Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control, because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
starflake 3
Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.
Sawadee 0
No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink
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Comments (250)
no_luck83 0
congrats dad!!! when your new child is old enough to understand make sure to teach him/her the value of birth control
ANNI3_16 0
well you obviously didnt know her that well.
harlycarp21 0
thats frikin hilarious!
Implodend 0
Is the OP sure she said "mediTation" and not "mediCation"? Because the latter (if by meditation she meant BC) wouldn't be an FML at all...
xTIGERxLILYx 0
No offense, but... you're an idiot for 1. not wearing a condom, 2. for not at least trying to pull out, and 3. for NOT asking her that question beforehand.
Implodend 0
In the USA, it IS standard, and it IS accepted norm, but so is USING A CONDOM!!! (did i mention ydi to the op?)
GrapefruitZoe 0
Could you clarify what is standard and accepted norm?
CheshireAna 0
FYL and YDI. First off, you should've actually checked what birth control she was using. Secondly, you should've used a condom, anyways. Good luck to you. :/
katewasherexx 0
Wow. You FINALLY had sex with her after dating for a MONTH. You ****.
blaxk_kaizer 0
nice try guy but thanks to captain crush your dreams this came from an episode of titus where afterwards titus asks for "his load back" and im off to crush other idiots dreams!!!!
Chico_Batzwana 0
Ya... It isn't that bad using a condom... and ydi