Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
VonBlitzkrieg 27
A "fart attack," if you will.
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.
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Comments (109)
grumblebum 16
At least you didn't do it after you were in the Ambulance.
WCARlover 35
The internet always convinces you that you're pregnant or moments from death
Spoderman170 8
At least it wasn't a shart
lulinator 40
Gas is so tricky. I collapsed from severe pain a few times when I was a teenager, doctor said it was gas. But my favourite, is in early pregnancy, when you *swear* you can feel the baby flutter, and everyone's all like "it's just gas." Then a few years later, when you're definitely not pregnant, you get that exact same feeling. Guess they were right...
johncage 14
Normally I'd say YDI for trusting the internet, but considering how many people die from heart attacks and the ambiguity of the symptoms I can't really fault you. I would rather dial 9-1-1 and find out I only had to rip one than die because I thought I only had to fart.
Kristen320 21
Gas is actually a symptom of a heart attack.
randomheartthrob 7
Web md says everything is cancer and fd up. Don't trust the internet
captainsmegma 12
So did the ambulance bring oxygen to those poor co-workers who had to suffer your blast from the ass?
Rosebudx 32
One time I was trying to determine if I had pneumonia and needed the hospital (spoiler alert: no pneumonia, but the doctors thought I did have until xrays proved otherwise). As I went through the quiz, I checked yes on chest pain, shortness of breath, coughing, excess of phlegm, etc. etc., and then the thing asked if either arm hurt and, if so, did it move. I have moderate-to-severe nerve damage in one arm (depending on which doc is talking), and at the time it didn't move at all, so I checked yes and yes. The quiz told me I had no respiratory issues but I had a broken arm that was making it hard for me to breathe.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
I have moderate/severe nerve damage in my lower limbs and it's always the first thing I say to the docs just because those quizzes always tell me it's a blood clot... even if it's actually a cold or whatever it's always a blood clot. They don't take into account nerve damage.
Ben12345_fml 18
The Internet is horrible for checking up symptoms. I had a friend who had a cold, looked it up, and it said he had AIDS. Obviously he didn't