Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine, and that she'd never seen it before. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
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Top comments
Sinshine 28
Did anything else happen other than it rolling around? I fail to see what the problem is.
BurnInDemonFire 39
First of all, where did your dog get marijuana? Second, where did your dog get money for marijuana? Third, is it good shit? Fourth, do you think your dog can put me in contact with her dealer?
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Comments (13)
shannon2348 14
I'm confused. Which part is the fml?
Sinshine 28
Did anything else happen other than it rolling around? I fail to see what the problem is.
BurnInDemonFire 39
First of all, where did your dog get marijuana? Second, where did your dog get money for marijuana? Third, is it good shit? Fourth, do you think your dog can put me in contact with her dealer?
carey33 15
As long as the jar didn’t break I see that as a win xD sounds like something that would happen to my mother-in-law and now that I think about it my mom would probably drop her weed too
alycion 39
Hate when that happens.
Grizz8831 14
either OP lives somewhere it is still illegal... or they are a narc. in either case, keep your mouth closed, and it wont be an issue.
Justin Carpenter 11
did u get though lol