Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I was written up at work and sent home 20 minutes into my shift. My boss thought I was under the influence of something, but it’s really just the first time I’ve come to work with no makeup on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
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Top comments
HarshD9619 34
It's funny how the date on the FMl is 4/20
timb1234 13
Dont smoke kids. You'll get in trouble
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Comments (65)
timb1234 13
Dont smoke kids. You'll get in trouble
TacoloverSWE 23
This is one of those times a comma is very useful...
erizonkim 17
woah yeah smoking kids would really get you in trouble lol
1dvs_bstd 41
because... because... smoking is baddd.. mmkay?
BrassWing13 11
Commas are important. I imagine you would get in a lot of trouble for smoking children
91hayek 31
Smoke lamb, not kids.
Rainbow2Cloud 12
That comment made me think of that scene from Scary movie 2 when Shorty is rolled into a joint by the Weed plant. :D
Spoderman170 8
I love smoking kids
876t786t6oi 12
How do you like to smoke your kids? I smoke mine over a grill so they are extra smokey.
HarshD9619 34
That was mentally disturbing 51
HarshD9619 34
It's funny how the date on the FMl is 4/20
Vestin 18
#2: 4:20 used to be a great time to pop a third hatch down... However, now that you start with 12 workers, all the old timings went out the window :(. Not to mention the changes to the in-game clock, which skew things even more...
GoingCommando93 14
Sorry, #30, but what the hell are you talking about? Forgive my ignorance if it's a reference to something.
incoherentrmblr 22
Having trouble inserting contacts + Insomnia + Sencond hand smoke from parents = A predicamental situation...
Vestin 18
#45: I was feigning ignorance and pretending that "420" is best known for being a Starcraft 2 multiplayer Zerg timing for getting a hatchery at your third base. It went just as well as one might expect, but that won't stop me from trying ;P.
IceWrath 22
No it doesn't. It says April the 21st for me.
brytonhansen 19
I mean it was April 20th.
HarshD9619 34
Do you not know what 420 means....
brytonhansen 19
*cough* sarcasm Some people don't get it.
HarshD9619 34
Sorry mate, my bad, I misread your comment, I thought you were correcting me
NeatNit 33
For those of us who don't know what it means, does anyone care to explain?
TheCookieComet 23
4/20 is national drug day or weed day. something like that
thatguynamedsky 32
everyone has to get high or you die
EverestMelting 23
#16, you are getting shitty answers. 4/20 or April 20th is the day most stoners celebrate marijuana. It started with high schoolers out in California when after school they would always start smoking at 4:20pm. It grew and grew and thus a Holliday was born. It's exclusively for marijuana.
RyWillieMitch 16
It's also Hitlers birthday. The more you know.
BlackPhoenixNite 14
And George Takei's :)
Zebediabolical 45
George Takei is Hitler on weed? That's my takeaway from this thread.
writerchic85 26
It's also my parents anniversary lol
ebonyirony 29
its also the anniversary of columbine i think.
albertozeta_fml 9
You can ask to do a drug test.
Dave_Davington 34
That would be even more hassle than having his/her parents come in and confirm the story.
chlorinegreen 27
Why? If you have to pee, does it matter if you pee into a toilet or cup? Idk, I don't think drug tests are that much of a hassle , but then again I'm drug free.
Spoderman170 8
Drug tests cost several hundreds of dollars
JuliaaNoelle 26
#39, drug tests cost about $40...
slayertack 19
Depends on the test
tinkdatank 15
One could call it a 'hazy' situation :D
WaltzingPhanthom 23
Let me guess, your parents weren't smoking cool enough to back you up?
abNormal62 23
That would burn my ass, if it happened to me What kinda joints do you hang out in?
buckdharma 38
Did your parents excuse their selves to use the bathroom, and then like two hours later you know where they were found? Meanwhile you're sitting in the classroom thinking it's a drag?
Enslaved 38
"Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school". --I have a long term friend from high school that dad used to smell her fingers to catch whether or not she had smoked. Funny thing is, she never did. He was an odd one. Now telling her to, "Quick! Smell my fingers!" Is an inside joke. (:
MattStro 23
Well did you eventually clear it up? I hope so op! Glad you didn't blaze it.
RainCl0ud 22
It couldn't have happened on a better date. 4/20 always has adults on high alert. Heh. High.