Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
VonBlitzkrieg 27
A "fart attack," if you will.
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.
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Comments (109)
nightfall8705 33
I would much rather let loose a monster fart than go to the hospital for an actual heart attack. Glad it was just gas from hell, OP, but next time, refrain from using the internet to diagnose yourself.
trtnt25 19
I used to have chest pains a lot that worried me that would happen every other day. My doctor said it was trapped gas from drinking too much pop, and since I've cut back the pains have stopped.
K_kanaka 26
Never use the Internet diagnose symptoms. It will literally make you think you have cancer.
CaptainCrow 13
Yes I was also convinced by WebMD that I had spinal cancer
TabooSushi 24
And this is why you never listen to Dr. Google. A ten minute visit with that ************ will have you convinced that a sunburn is rectal cancer in about five minutes flat, and then he'll use the time left over to assure you that your sore throat means you have a brain tumor and probably some kind of Super AIDS.
daemonsparta 16
don't trust the Internet for a diagnosis
Flyndaran 10
Would you rather have had a heart attack and thought it was gas? People have mistaken heart attacks for all sorts of other conditions and vice versa.
Attacksloth 33
Please look up "hypochondria" or its derivative, "Googlechondria". It is a disorder that describes me perfectly. Please don't turn into me, thanks. Your sanity will thank you.
munchly 17
I hope you were alone in that room -.-
ViviMage 40
Glad to hear you didn't bite the big one... Just blew the big one!