lilipalmer
France
Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
He's a nurse, and it's professional. Medical staff are used to so many bodily functions that this isn't something to be embarrassed about.
mimi_animee 18
He's just doing his job OP!
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Comments (106)
Jackimo98 24
Shitty
acommonman 23
leave it to #1 to describe, quite aptly, his own comment.
Jackimo98 24
This is the exact response I was hoping for, thank you all
ronzi 15
Haha good one ?
Retaheki 27
What would be 'shitty' is if OP was constipated, they'd look anorexic, but have some gummed up works.
Jackimo98 24
@66 that was worse than my comment
redrain567 16
Awh.. as bad as the pun is, and as much hate it should get I think it's a tradition for Poop related fmls.
Jackimo98 24
87, It had to be done and I paid the price for it
sullivankeara 25
Well that's a shitty situation. Sorry OP
EvilTurtle 35
Take you and your shit elsewhere
cheeeksss 29
Here we go again...
sullivankeara 25
Cant get the thumbs up all the time lol
False_Stupidity 42
Well that type of comment is pretty much guaranteed many thumbs down around here.
DaRito 25
It's just tradition for someone to say this and their comment to get downvoted to hell. Don't take it personally.
WhoopteDo 26
Bowel that sucks, I'm sorry to hear your chances with him are down the shitter. I doubt if you gave him your number he'd colon you later.
NebulaNick 12
No.
False_Stupidity 42
Yes.
Vitotaylor36 13
Go to your room and think about what you've done.
Ashd09 30
Your puns are bad and you should feel bad
Ltsdragons 19
You tried too hard
KingIzzie 7
I don't know why this got so many negative votes. It's the best pun ever.
Welshite 40
He's a nurse, and it's professional. Medical staff are used to so many bodily functions that this isn't something to be embarrassed about.
acommonman 23
poor OP, hopefully she'll still have a chance with the nurse after he's done examining it
cakefete2 31
I work in the medical field, it doesn't faze us unless it's something truly abnormal. If she shit a PlayStation or an unflushable sea snake, he might take notice, but anything short of that is par for the course.
lexa1love 16
It's extremely unprofessional for a nurse to enter a relationship with someone they cared for, the nurse would likely get fired for it.
pirateshota 11
@30 Maybe in some places, but if I recall correctly, just recently a nurse married her patient, who was a victim of the Boston Marathon bombing.
lexa1love 16
As I recall that nurse actually quit their job over it. I'm not saying people can't fall in love, but I don't want someone to get their hopes up. My job specifically states that if I were to enter into a relationship with someone I cared for within five years of their hospitalization I will be fired and could have my license reported.
Catdragon 40
#44 that's retarded. what's so wrong with falling in love with your patient?
pirateshota 11
@44 That's pretty harsh. Didn't know about that, thanks for the info.
NekoLily 13
27, she would probably want him to examine her body
mimi_animee 18
He's just doing his job OP!
Albuca 13
As a student nurse, I can tell you that bowel movements are very important following surgery as the anesthesia slows down your bodily processes. Also, what's up with the whole male nurse / nurse dichotomy? We're nurses plan and simple. You don't call a women a female nurse just like I don't call them female engineers.
brisbanegirl 21
Exactly! I'm a nurse and I really don't understand the need to state it's a male nurse.
BillMurray_fml 12
OP: "the male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute." OP is (apparently) a straight female. Need I go on?
gracehi 33
Exactly, Bill Murray. The gender of this particular nurse is significant to this particular story.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
In this case it states male nurse specifically so that people don't have to wonder if the OP is straight, lesbian, or bi. I would agree with there being no need to specify it was a male nurse except for the fact that there was actually a need in this case.
Nymeria_fml 25
I don't think there is a need in this case either. Who cares whether OP is straight, lesbian or bi? I don't see how it would change the story one bit.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@Nymeria. Trust me. If the OP had not specified gender there would be a zillion comments along the lines of "Well she's probably straight so you wouldn't have a chance anyway" or "Is the OP is lesbian?" mixed with a bunch that would just say things like "You know the nurse could be male right?" "Male nurses do exist you know, she's not necessarily gay". If you want proof just go back and read through any FML where either the OP's gender is not specified or the OP did not specify the gender of the person they were trying to impress. You need to consider that we live in a world where people use phrases like "Manny" to refer to a male childcare giver rather than just calling them a Nanny which is what they are. Male nurses are lucky that the term "murse" is already used in regards to a "man purse" or they wouldn't be referred to as nurses at all.
Nymeria_fml 25
Well, that's my point. People can ask those questions no matter what genders they are. The nurse in the story is a man, but then people could ask, "What if he's gay?" Just because people could ask and make dumb comments it doesn't mean that the genders make the FML any different than it is.
patapon_fml 4
Originally this FML was published in french. In french, there is one word for "male nurse", and one for "female nurse". So maybe the reason why it is specified that it was a male nurse is just a matter of translation.
spookyboy 20
You should of responded with a shitty pick up line ;)
CandyPewPewPew 29
Oh hey girl, your grammar is sexy like my shit. It's not "should of", it's "should have".
spookyboy 20
Are you serious? Does that really matter right now?
erriiinn 9
He won't care, it's his job. Don't sweat it
Solano2580 24
that's what they do OP, it's like a hot female doctor checking your genitals, it's nothing special
makynen86 9
He's a nurse. Of course he's used to it. As a nurse or doctor they are used to every bodily function.