Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
Just a quick question, are you another member of that disgusting family that identifies each other through farts?
RichardPencil 32
That is a gas leak. Your husband needs to get his anus tightened up.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
That is a gas leak. Your husband needs to get his anus tightened up.
zedjaleaf1 11
So... It was a gas leak?
manb91uk 22
Just a quick question, are you another member of that disgusting family that identifies each other through farts?
tonyfan00 38
Smells Like Curry Spirit!
Lobby_Bee 18
The solution is to have more curry. Let that digestive system get used to it and sooner or later, his farts will be bearable.
davecross 11
Should have shoved fabreez us his ass
Denizod 9
"had a curry"? What is one curry?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Actually, it was a gas leak. Just a different kind of gas. ;)