Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML
Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
Today, my daughter told a police officer to call me because I could get them fired unless they let her off for speeding, spitting at and kicking officers, and damaging police property. I work in a supermarket and have no idea what she was talking about. I can’t fire anyone. FML
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Top comments
Crazynopantsman 11
I think you're overreacting. They are just kids.
Tempest559 12
At least they chose a subject the police know about.
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Comments (176)
bmkc4 1
They are only repeating what they have heard.
citymayer 7
1) they're kids. 2) Jokes. Ever heard of them?
stevenmx86 8
You're one of the idiots helping shape these children OP. You're supposed to take charge...
shutyourmouth12Z 7
Oh I feel terrible for you..get over it
elletex 8
No sense of humor, huh?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You referred to them as kids. Grade school kids, I'd understand. They don't know any better. They haven't grown out of their sense of humor.
CharliesCool2084 8
They're only kids.
behady 4
Sucks that there's no "that's awesome" option
mariah_victoria 0
That's what I was thinkin' -.-
RavenPoe 8
That's what I was thinking too. OP calls then kids. If so I find this awesome and funny. I still can't stop laughing. Best quote ever!
sinner92 4
I actually think its funny. Kids can get away with smart ass comments like that. If you try that in adult hood probably not such a good idea. So let's let the kids stick it to them.
shawnaishere 14
" So what part of the donut do you guys want to hear about?"