Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
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Top comments
lugnutz 0
pleasant sight to smell?
sweet_candy_ 17
Awwww you're a true friend op. I wish I had a friend like you :)
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Comments (87)
ncvolley123 8
oh my effing god. u r so selfish! what if ur friend really did have appendicitis? then you'd be screwed and puked on!!! YFDI!
I_R_Genius 3
What did you just say?
krazy_glu3 0
Geez the cost of an E.R. bill just to told you have gas.... such a shame... he should stop holding his farts in!
TenderWhispers 0
i fart under the sheets and pull my wife under, sometimes she laughs....sometimes.
Efilyn 0
I had appenditicis. It's not hard to diagnose and not easy to mis-diagnose either. The experience was terrible, but gas isn't that bad in terms of pain. Coming from an unfortunate person who experienced both.
teaanddinosaurs 1
I would say it is hard to diagnose if you don't have the classic symptoms... I was told mine was a UTI, pulled tendon and general pains just because I didn't have classic appendicitis and didn't throw up. So y'know.
MissKayla 2
At least you're a good friend x]
taurusxdee 10
ugh I had the same thing about 2 weeks ago. it's really painful.
92jess_2010 0
I hope it wasn't a long ride! poor guy. tell him to buy febreze or something, lol.
sparta98 4
I'm pretty lucky. I've never broken anything in my body, nor have I had surgery. I'm glad your friend didn't have appendicitis, but really, FYL.
Domo_Arigato7 3
Hey at least you're in Canada, it only costs tax dollars.
bluevayero 42
The Big Bang Theory S04E02 The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification 100% match