Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
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Top comments
lugnutz 0
pleasant sight to smell?
sweet_candy_ 17
Awwww you're a true friend op. I wish I had a friend like you :)
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Comments (87)
fortunefades 3
was his gas enough to get you guys back home? (;
Bosia 0
Traveling at the speed of gas? I need to try that!
calenzelon 6
gas-bag
calenzelon 6
fartblossom
xGraycloud 4
wow, ur friend owes you BIG. (;
brianjman14 23
Love the gas, Meg!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!
MyChemical_fml 0
Is that a neck or 4 books stacked beside each other?
juwood 7
I've had this happen to me before. The docs ended up taking my appendix out anyway, resulting in a pretty good scar on my stomach.
Privations_fml 3
One less illness to worry about tho. Might as well have had it taken out while it *wasn't* a threat.
lifesluck 0
Before I even finished reading this FML , some instinct screamed this was an Alberta OP! Means nothing I know. Just thought it was interesting to point out. :)
Bosia 0
That happened to me one weekend after a big Mexican buffet. 'Couldn't blame it on the dog that time!
vettle 6
nah. you just saw this on the big bang theory and thought it was funny.
Kasho 4
Well if I were you I'd be glad my friend is ok , instead of posting it here as an FML. Far worse things could have happened , get over it...
niglet11 0
I had apendicitic and it was not fun...
Uraepicfail 0
Ikr! I had one and it was homecoming week
I_R_Genius 3
I don't know what you mean by appendictic? Please elaborate for meZ