Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allred1997 19
Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again
xxkrystalxx 14
She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
picklepuss 9
You need a new boyfriend
Richard6036 13
Is there any sense of care and your boyfriend at all he seems to be driven by sex and doesn't seem to care about the trauma your body has sustained giving birth, I think you made a serious mistake having his baby
withered 30
I agree. He sounds like a complete selfish prick that should never have bred. I would feel terrible knowing I just got birth to a child whose dad is such a selfish prick with 0 consideration for others.
oiler 21
If he wants anal then you have to give hime anal also. buy a strap on and use it.
beeferjay 34
but, conveniently, forget to buy lube
LeashaJoy5595 28
Push hard too. That way he can understand the pain of something too big going in or coming out of a hole that is too small, you know, kinda like giving birth.
psyjoniz 12
physically/mentally drained probably looking like an old mare ridden hard and put away wet yet he only thinks of you for intimacy. could be worse. he could be cheating, not show for the birth and call you years later to say 'get a few tests done'. learn to see the positive unless you really are the man hating bitch your post colors you as.
Waschlappen 23
So because OP might not look her most attractive after pushing a watermelon through a keyhole, she has to be appreciative that her boyfriend at least still wants to have sex with her? Maybe her boyfriend should care more about the newborn than sex! Just because you can come up with worse scenarios, doesn't mean that OP should just be content with her situation. For ex. it's still bad going to prison, even though you are only in for armed robbery and not murder!
rebeccacmlc 22
#45 you are disgusting and seem to disregard women ... If you have issues with women try and see what pushing a child out feels like. And FYI, not cheating is supposed to be the norm in, you know, a normal relationship, it's the minimum of mutual respect.
techiejames 8
You just had his kid. Really? He can go back to using his hand watching ****.
Manniie_ 20
Gefeliciteerd met de baby! Ik hoop dat je wat verstand zijn hoofd in hebt geslagen xD
rebeccacmlc 22
Ja, ik hoop ...
yellowzinnias 20
This is why nurses aren't doctors, no matter how much they stomp around and claim they're superior. You don't learn as much in 2-4 years of school as you do in 7+. You just don't.
cocainewhore 30
How on earth was that relevant?
Senseless_487 29
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have a classic case of WRONG FML.
shredzone 5
Congratulations for giving birth to the first child you have together.
lvg_fml 10
After just giving birth the last thing you feel like is sex. It's exhausting and adapting to taking care of a totally dependent little baby is all consuming. Tell him to focus that energy into being a good parent and partner. I hope for your sake he gains some maturity. Congratulations on your bundle of joy
loubabe69 19
Reminds me of when I had my twins, he actually begged till I gave in.