Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
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Top comments
allred1997 19
Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again
xxkrystalxx 14
She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.
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Comments (90)
olpally 33
Well, you bred with a dbag.. Good luck with that.
thatonetribute 31
What a douche. He should be concerned for YOU, and his child! Not his own sexual needs. Tell him to suck himself.
Publikwerks 14
Hahahahaha, he thinks he's having sex. Children are cockblock masters
mrlawlor7777 26
Right, need to make sure it is well lubricated before anal. For those that do not understand, than*.
katluvr 22
Sadly, this type of insensitivity was there before you got pregnant but you didn't see it. People don't just become assholes overnight. It's a shame you didn't recognize this before having his child.
gratunka 11
He is not invested in you as a person.
steam_engenius 21
That's abusive.
Badkarma4u 17
No its not. Insensitive, yes. Abusive, no. The two are NOT the same.
rabbi1010 29
Itd be abuse if he just went through it without asking first.
Mandie86 15
I would squeeze this all living hell out of his balls when he is asleep, teaches you not to **** with me when I just had a baby and think I'm the two other holes are optional dickweed.
sabrinaMA 7
Ha. You picked a winner for a boyfriend and a "father". I give y'all six months before you're a single mom. IF he was always this idiotic then you can only blame yourself.
ThrottleJockey 36
Wonderful specimen with whom you choose to procreate OP.